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December 31st, 2012

09:24 pm - WELCOME TO DAS SPORKING [sticky post]

Welcome one and all to das_sporking! I am your host, das_mervin, and I hope you enjoy your stay at my fabulous little community of sporkers. Here, we have over thirty different sporkers that spork in over forty different fandoms including original fiction, so you have plenty of flavors to choose from. The sporks range from the short and succinct to highly-detailed and long-winded, but above all else, they are all devoted to snarky analysis of the stories they pick apart.

Aren’t sure where to start? Well, come on in—this post has the rules and every single link that might interest you and help you find your way around.

Community RulesCollapse )

Das Sporking Points of InterestCollapse )

The Chatterbox

You talked, I listened—some of the comm members here expressed an interest in a place where they could just talk—well, here it is! Welcome to the Chatterbox! It’s kept here at das_sporking so you don’t have to go join another comm or something. With these posts, you don’t have to keep your discussion limited to a chapter or part of a story in a sporking—here, you can just talk with the other comm members and get to know them. It doesn’t always have to be about badfic and bad writing! Right now, the list of topics is short, but if the Chatterbox proves popular, perhaps the list shall soon expand.

The Twilight Series
Leah Clearwater
The Fifty Shades Trilogy
The Fifty Shades of Grey Movies
Das Sporking

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

April 16th, 2016

06:10 pm - Early Redemption - Chapter 44
Previously on Early Redemption, the original trilogy FINALLY started and our courageous hero Anakin decided to run away again after some stormtroopers visited the repair shop. When we ended, the Lars farm was burning. This isn't gonna be pretty.

Chapter 44 - Death Doesn"t MatterCollapse )

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04:58 pm - The Master TOC

The Master

By K.B Aleo

Alternate Title: Henry's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Cross Over Curbstomp Fanfic

SPORKER: Anisporker


A Digimon Tamers/Yugioh: Duel Monsters cross over fanfic with Henry, ostensibly, as our lead. He gets sent, via letter from anonymous person, the Winged Dragon of Ra. The card is alive and wreaking supernatural havoc on his life, while also making him and his loved ones the target of rare hunters.

It isn't that offensive of a fic overall, certainly not in comparison to a lot of other stuff, but oh boy is it inept on just about every conceivable level. It's one of those ones that can shift between unintentional comedy gold to making me want to quit, not out of rage but embarrassment for this work. Conflicts are introduced and than dropped, some times in the same paragraph. Dialogue is atrocious. Grammar is legible at best. Description bland. Shock value is thrown in at random. Some of the most ridiculous plot points I can remember in a long while pop up here.

It is going to be both fun and painful.

Table of ContentsCollapse )

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April 15th, 2016

08:05 pm - Magician's Gambit: Chapter Ten- Spring Exists

ASTRA: Hey, everyone. I’m back.

AURORA: So you are. Hopefully, this chapter should be better, by which I mean nobody goes insane.

ASTRA: I’ll do my best. No promises, though.

AURORA: Fair enough. For the record, we discuss suicide in this chapter, so everyone, please be warned.

Read more...Collapse )

Current Mood: anxiousanxious
Current Music: Silversun Pickups- Lazy Eye

(7 comments | Leave a comment)

April 12th, 2016

10:14 pm - Beautiful Creatures — 9.02: New Girl Part One
HG: Welcome, everyone, to the next exciting addition of… Oh, sorry, I was reading something else. Ahem. Welcome to chapter two of Beautiful Creatures, wherein we get to meet see Lena the love interest for the first time. And… Well, truth be told, not a whole lot else of importance happens. But hey, we’re all suffering through the terribleness together, so let’s begin!

Read more...Collapse )

Continue to Part Two

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April 10th, 2016

07:59 pm - Partially Kissed Hero: Chapter 2
In which Harry merges with Voldemort"s soul fragment and acquires his memory and powers, and we"re supposed to believe this doesn"t turn him evil.Collapse )
Current Location: Hogwarts - Headmaster's Office
Current Music: "Fawkes the Phoenix"

(52 comments | Leave a comment)

April 21st, 2016

11:33 pm - How I Became Yours: Chapter 4 - Part 2
ZeldaQueen: Time for some more of this shitty webcomic!

Sappy Glurg With Azula (And Pointless Cameo Sappy Glurge From A Certain Someone Else).Collapse )

(26 comments | Leave a comment)

April 5th, 2016

06:43 pm - Resident Evil:Stay Alive - Chapter 3
Previous Table of Contents Next

(Sorry this is so late. Life happened)

Gay jokes are funny, right. Not offensive or anything?Collapse )

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

April 1st, 2016

12:44 am - Dracula in Love Blurbs
I seem to have this thing with fonts looking off at times. It's still readable, though, so it shouldn't be too much of an issue.
Read more...Collapse )

(23 comments | Leave a comment)

March 31st, 2016

05:11 pm - A Ranma 1/2 Fanfic, Part 4
I'm back! And there's good news tonight! We're going to bury this piece of shit once and for all.

The end can"t come soon enoughCollapse )

And with that, the story's finally over. But we're not done with it just yet. Next time, I give my final thoughts on this fic.

(6 comments | Leave a comment)

April 17th, 2016

04:57 pm - Early Redemption - Chapter 43
Previously on Early Redemption, Anakin and Obi-Wan got a sign from the Force that MAYBE they'll have to come out of hiding soon, give or take a few years, then there was a ton of summarizing. However, after twelve chapters of filler, it's FINALLY time for the original trilogy! This ain't gonna be pretty.

Chapter 43 - Lies Are CoolCollapse )

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April 10th, 2016

01:52 pm - Chapter Eight, Part One
WARNING: Contains stalker behaviour and "do not want"Collapse )
Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted

(13 comments | Leave a comment)

April 16th, 2016

12:51 am - Harry Potter And The Girl Who Lived: Chapter 15
ZeldaQueen: So glad this is nearly done!

A Reminder That The Potters Are Better Than YouCollapse )

(20 comments | Leave a comment)

March 29th, 2016

03:57 pm - Wizard's First Rule - Chapter 15
At the brink of lethal commitment.Collapse )

(23 comments | Leave a comment)

April 11th, 2016

11:06 pm - A Different Kind Of Magic: Chapter 18 - Dangerous Musings
ZeldaQueen: Sweet Christmas, this is it! We're at what is currently the last chapter of this fic! Granted, it's not long enough to say whether or not the suethor's not updating anymore or not. But for now, we're going to say this is the end and kick back!

(Also, warning - both sporkers end up bored and frustrated enough to resorting to ongoing wordplay involving genitalia. This should give you an idea of how gripping this chapter is.)

Good Lord, Why Is This Chapter A Thing?Collapse )

(8 comments | Leave a comment)

07:04 pm - Early Redemption - Chapter 42
Last time, Leia FINALLY figured out that her parents were hiding stuff, but Padme refused to tell her anything. We ended on a cliffhanger of OMG SOMEONE'S AT THE DOOR! Who could it be? Let's find out.

Chapter 42 - Time To SummarizeCollapse )

(9 comments | Leave a comment)

March 20th, 2016

08:45 pm - A Boy and His Fox - Chapter 23
Author's note: Hey everyone, here's chapter 23 for your viewing pleasure.

I didn't know pleasure was supposed to cause anger and frustration!

This is now seven chapters left before the end of the story and things are starting to come to a boil.

So Kiba helpfully took the water off the burner to make sure the story wouldn't end too soon.

While most of this chapter is focused solely on Kal, Lux, and Annie it is important to know that the others aren't just sitting around. Well…technically that's not true. Lucian's enjoying his week off in Piltover and Ahri is still sick and bed ridden with a homicidal maniac taking care of her for something he caused.

So they're both more or less doing exactly what they have been up to now: nothing.

You guys have been absolutely awesome and I promise that even though A Boy and His Fox is reaching the finish line, my writing in absolutely no way is coming even close.

Oh boy is he telling the truth here.

So without further ado, I give you Ch. 23. –Kiba Elunal

Oh, and... some implied pedophilia in this chapter.

Because that's just what this story needed.

Click to enter Sporker"s Rift!Collapse )

First champion of the dayCollapse )

Second champion of the dayCollapse )

(11 comments | Leave a comment)

March 18th, 2016

11:13 pm - Magician's Gambit: Chapter Nine- No, It's A Good Life
ASTRA: Hey, everyone. Good to see you.

Read more...Collapse )
Current Mood: shockedshocked
Current Music: Brendan Maclean- Hugs Not Drugs (Or Both)

(12 comments | Leave a comment)

March 9th, 2016

12:15 am - Early Redemption - Chapter 41
Last time on Early Redemption, seeing Leia made Vader SO SO SAAAAAD and our Jedi in hiding felt a disturbance in the Force, but they decided to do what they do best: nothing. Now we get to see how Leia is getting along in her new life as a representative. This should be fun.

Chapter 41 - Padme Is A Dick To Her DaughterCollapse )

(13 comments | Leave a comment)

March 8th, 2016

05:49 pm - A Boy and His Fox - Chapter 22
Author's Note: Hey everyone, sorry I've been moving so much slower lately.

I think Nasus is stalking Kiba and spamming Whither on him, as punishment for making him endure Kal and co. for two chapters.

To be honest I'm having a bit of writer's block, mainly in this story. I think everyone would agree that last chapter was proof of that.

The plot actually moving forward is a sign of writer's block? Maybe Kiba just couldn't think of any other ways to stall it out any longer.

However I am still trying, I'm not going to give up on it. I don't think that would be fair to you guys in the slightest.

I'll agree here. Deadfics are the worst.

I have to say though that your reviews are what keep me going so thank you for those.

I know this feeling. I'd always feel down when I didn't get reviews back when I wrote fanfics.

I'm hoping that once I'm done with these two I could work on both a real novel and another fan fic of some kind. Thanks for your support everyone –Kiba Elunal

I wonder if Kiba will someday be a new Meyer? @.@

Oh yeah, trigger warnings, Ahri gets drugged via tampered-with food at the end of the chapter.

Welcome to Sporker"s Rift!Collapse )

Champion of the dayCollapse )

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

06:10 pm - Dracula in Love Author's Note and Acknowledgements
Read more...Collapse )

(22 comments | Leave a comment)

March 28th, 2016

11:25 am - Meet the Corellians - Chapter 3
Last time on Meet the Corellians, Luke was still giving off creepy child predator vibes, Lola the little Sue was responsible for getting Luke and Obi-Wan to hire Han because of course, and the story generally sucked. Let's see if it will keep sucking.

Chapter 3 - The Sue Gets SuierCollapse )

(12 comments | Leave a comment)

March 6th, 2016

12:03 pm - The Great Gatsby Chapter Nine
And So We End This.Collapse )
Current Mood: thankfulthankful

(9 comments | Leave a comment)

March 2nd, 2016

02:53 am - Divergent: Chapter 15

Hiya! I’m not dead!

I’m really sorry for my unplanned hiatus. You can find my apology post about it here, but in case of tl;dr: It’s been a difficult and stressful year and a half, but I have finally gotten some of my sporking muse back, and I will try to update at least once a month, though I can’t promise anything. (Next update might take longer, though. But I might do at least one more of After.)

Besides that, I also wrote a short essay about another 1D fanfic getting published (and why I don’t mind), and of course, my usual After update.

Before I continue with the actual spork however, I do have a little favor to ask. Due to some personal issues, my regular beta gave up on sporking and LiveJournal in general. Thankfully, I managed to find her on Tumblr and she is okay, but regardless - what that means, is that I need a new beta. I would really like someone, who is a native English speaker, preferably one who will be able and willing to beta both After and Divergent; but if I can’t find anyone like that, someone willing to beta just one of the two would be okay too. :)

Okay, now - back to the book!

Read more...Collapse )

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March 21st, 2016

10:38 pm - A Different Kind Of Magic: Chapter 16 - A Daring Plan & Chapter 17 - The Gamble
ZeldaQueen: You guys, we're so close to being caught up on this, I can taste it!

The Sue Wangsts As Much As Possible And The Sporkers Make Princess Bride and Portal Jokes As Much As Possible.Collapse )

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

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