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December 31st, 2012

09:24 pm - WELCOME TO DAS SPORKING [sticky post]

Welcome one and all to das_sporking! I am your host, das_mervin, and I hope you enjoy your stay at my fabulous little community of sporkers. Here, we have over thirty different sporkers that spork in over forty different fandoms including original fiction, so you have plenty of flavors to choose from. The sporks range from the short and succinct to highly-detailed and long-winded, but above all else, they are all devoted to snarky analysis of the stories they pick apart.

Aren’t sure where to start? Well, come on in—this post has the rules and every single link that might interest you and help you find your way around.

Community RulesCollapse )

Das Sporking Points of InterestCollapse )

The Chatterbox

You talked, I listened—some of the comm members here expressed an interest in a place where they could just talk—well, here it is! Welcome to the Chatterbox! It’s kept here at das_sporking so you don’t have to go join another comm or something. With these posts, you don’t have to keep your discussion limited to a chapter or part of a story in a sporking—here, you can just talk with the other comm members and get to know them. It doesn’t always have to be about badfic and bad writing! Right now, the list of topics is short, but if the Chatterbox proves popular, perhaps the list shall soon expand.

The Twilight Series
Leah Clearwater
The Fifty Shades Trilogy
The Fifty Shades of Grey Movies
Das Sporking

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

January 8th, 2017

02:24 pm - Early Redemption - Chapter 61
Previously on Early Redemption, Anakin and Obi-Wan shot Vader down and then they decided to save him even though they were the ones who shot him down. Logic! I'm sure this next chapter will be just as logical.

Chapter 61 - Our Heroes Do Nothing Yet AgainCollapse )

(1 comment | Leave a comment)

January 1st, 2017

04:42 pm - Partially Kissed Hero: Chapter 13
In which Newt Scamander must surely be rolling over in his grave.Collapse )
Current Location: The Forbidden Forest
Current Music: Fantastic Beasts OST - "Inside the Case"

(12 comments | Leave a comment)

December 29th, 2016

11:51 pm - Throne of Glass Chapter 6 and 7
Read more...Collapse )

(5 comments | Leave a comment)

January 21st, 2017

12:13 pm - The White Devil Of the Moon: Chapter 1 - The Princess's Guard
ZeldaQueen: Now we get to see the suethor writing for Nanoha canon. Such fun!

Cue The So-Called Comedy Of ErrorsCollapse )

(9 comments | Leave a comment)

January 13th, 2017

09:56 pm - The White Devil Of The Moon: Prologue - The Lost Princess (Part 2)
ZeldaQueen: This certainly has been a boring prologue!

Prologue - The Lost Princess (Part 2)

Oh, Those Wacky Senshi!Collapse )

(18 comments | Leave a comment)

December 25th, 2016

10:04 pm - SAO Volume 3 - Chapter 2 Part 2
This time, I get back to work!

And a lot of varied stuff happens.

Sporking time, take flight!Collapse )

(6 comments | Leave a comment)

December 21st, 2016

06:51 pm - Magician's Gambit: Chapter Twenty-Three- Fun For All The Family
AURORA: Hey, everyone. This chapter has a fight scene and some rather gruesome deaths in it, just so you know.

ASTRA: And that title is not meant to be a Goodies reference.

AURORA: Speak for yourself. *hums the theme*

Read more...Collapse )
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: Crystal Castles- Baptism

(23 comments | Leave a comment)

January 7th, 2017

03:11 am - The White Devil Of The Moon: Prologue - The Lost Princess (Part 1)
ZeldaQueen: Hullo, hullo, ladies and gentlemen! Hot on the heels of selfcest, we bring possibly the second-worst thing for a fanfiction… the shittily-done crossover!

Raxis: So what do you get when you cross Sailor Moon with Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha? What you should get is some kickass action scenes, heartwarming moments, and lots of magical beams. Unfortunately, that assumes the person writing the crossover presents both fandoms in a fair and unbiased way.

Sadly, the suethor of this one, did not.

ZeldaQueen: Nope. As we’ll see, the suethor pretty obviously loves Nanoha and thinks… much less highly of Sailor Moon. So! What exactly do we have in store here?

Uh, I Think Your Prologue Took Off Without You...Collapse )

(17 comments | Leave a comment)

03:03 am - [Table Of Contents] - The White Devil Of The Moon
The White Devil of the Moon

By bissek

Alternate Title: Rising Fail, Canon Prism Power Set Up!

SPORKER: ZeldaQueen and Raxis

Ah, fanfic crossovers! Only through them can you find gems like Phoenix Wright defending Rainbow Dash in court or the cast of Downton Abbey escaping Reavers on the Serenity. In my opinion, there's nothing better than a well-done crossover. You get the fun of two sets of characters meeting and working together, all sorts of plot bunnies, and ways to have the different themes mesh together.

When I heard that there was a crossover between Sailor Moon and Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha - apparently the only one, at least on FF.net - I thought it sounded great! They were two huge magical girl franchises, incredibly famous in their own rights. And I loved Sailor Moon and heard good things about MGLN, so I was very interested.

The fact that I am now sporking it should give an indication as to how well it was pulled off.

What's it about? Well, while performing the spell to allow Princess Serenity to be reincarnated, Queen Serenity coughs at just the wrong moment (yes, really) and her daughter ends up being reborn as Nanoha Takamachi, instead of Usagi Tsukino.

Fast forward to one year after the Sailor Moon series canonically takes place and we see that the senshi and Mamoru (somehow all with their memories restored and united to fight crime) are very eager to find their princess so she can end the fight and they can quit being senshi, because gawd they can't stand each other and want to be done as magical girls. Nanoha's in the area to rest after being seriously injured in combat, Fate is there as her vaguely yandere body guard, and a Comedy of Errors-style misunderstanding has Fate, Luna, and the senshi all at odds. What follows is far too much of us being told how the TSAB are great and the senshi are inferior, undisciplined, and uncooperative. Throw in Luna being made a tinfoil hat-wearing nutbag who is disconnected from reality, Mamoru and the senshi being unable to process that Nanoha =/= Serenity, and Beryl being made into nothing but a jealous clingy girl for Endymion, and that about wraps up the fail. Oh, and a number of omake, written in very poor taste. Mustn't forget those.

As a diehard Sailor Moon fan, of course I was not taking this lying down. I now nothing of Nanoha's canon though, and so I will be sporing with Raxis, our resident Nanoha fan (also very fond of Sailor Moon, which means he gets pissed off over two canon fuckings for the price of one).

Folks, please join us as we spork our way through a crossover of extreme wankery, canon defilement, and dry prose This will not be calm. This will not be pleasant.

But by God, will it be sparkly.

Table of ContentsCollapse )

(5 comments | Leave a comment)

December 14th, 2016

11:37 pm - The Threat Of Humanity: Chapter 1 - Part 2
Part two of the Speshul Sparkly Sue!Collapse )
Table Of Contents
Current Location: Edoras
Current Mood: eh
Current Music: Marilyn Manson

(6 comments | Leave a comment)

January 5th, 2017

01:11 am - FFT: Bonus Essays--Witches Past and Present Pt. III [SPORKERS: ZELDAQUEEN, KET MAKURA & GEHAYI]
Hipster Wiccans, get off my lawn!Collapse )

(105 comments | Leave a comment)

January 3rd, 2017

04:51 pm - FFT: Bonus Essays--Witches Past and Present Pt. II [SPORKERS: ZELDAQUEEN, KET MAKURA & GEHAYI]
The ugly truth, no glam or glitz/(Babs *claims* she tells the juicy bits)Collapse )

(71 comments | Leave a comment)

January 2nd, 2017

09:24 pm - Mod Announcement
So. LiveJournal has moved all of its physical servers from San Francisco, California to Moscow, Russia.

The site has been owned by SUP media, a Russian company, since 2007. And in January 2009, the site moved some of its departments to Russia. So, some people would say, what difference does it make if the physical servers are in San Francisco or Russia? And why did they move there, anyway?

Because it's the law. Russian law requires that personal data of its citizens be processed by servers located within the territory of Russia. Which puts anyone not Russian in an ambiguous position at best, and in the same position as a Russian citizen at worst.

Also, there's the issue of SORM. While the name sounds like it should be in a science fiction movie, SORM is, to quote the non-partisan think tank the World Policy Institute, "Russia’s national system of lawful interception of all electronic utterances."

SORM-1 covers telephone communications.

SORM-2 allows for monitoring of the Internet. This extends to the monitoring of social media platforms, including social network websites and any other services that allows to establish a communication between two users (e.g. chat, forums). While this doesn't represent a problem for everyone, it is a threat to anyone who writes on sociopolitical issues and for those who actively promote discussion on such topics.

And SORM-3? A wiretapping system. One that doesn't require a warrant.

This is BAD. From a Russian user: "Since LiveJournal is now physically hosted on the territory of Russia, all the confidential information of service users is available for domestic security services in real time, in accordance with the requirements of SORM[,] SORM-2 and-3 to the Russian sites."

I know that some of our members have issues with privacy and security, and we have done our best in those cases. But this is not an issue that we can get around.

And, perhaps most disturbingly, there are recent rumors--unsubstantiated, but rumors nevertheless--of comms being deleted without warning. Pro-Ukrainian comms, from what I've heard...but that doesn't encourage me. It just says that LJ will shut down comms voicing what it considers to be contrary to Russian policy.

You can read more about the situation here:





Finally, we also don't know if this means that SUP has decided that the non-Russia side of LiveJournal is no longer profitable. There have been more than enough times of late when LJ has unexpectedly gone offline or crashed; there have been at least two hacks and one DDOS attack directed toward it; and LJ's designers seem to be trying to make LJ more like Facebook. And the bulk of LJ has gone silent. Many people and comms have already moved to Dreamwidth, Tumblr or both.

So, as you can see, there are numerous reasons for moving.

The best option, from where we stand, would be importing the comm to DreamWidth. (There is a mirror site, albeit one that hasn't been updated since 2013; we're working on getting the comm imported there.) Several LiveJournal communities have made this move, and it can be done so that all of our posts and comments are mirrored. Nobody would have to re-post their sporkings. And signing up for an account is both easy and free. However, we are open to other ideas.

The question is, what do you guys want to do? Stay where we are? Move to a different site? Something else?

Tell us in the comments. Please.

(98 comments | Leave a comment)

December 12th, 2016

06:58 pm - Wizard's First Rule - Chapter 26
He was not thinking. He was thinking of killing.Collapse )

(17 comments | Leave a comment)

December 9th, 2016

07:12 pm - The Threat Of Humanity: Chapter 1 - Part 1
The story begins... now with more Sparkly Sueishness!Collapse )
Table Of Contents
Current Location: Edoras
Current Mood: bitchybitchy
Current Music: Marilyn Manson

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

December 5th, 2016

02:17 pm - Wings Chapter 5 and 6
Read more...Collapse )

(17 comments | Leave a comment)

December 8th, 2016

09:14 pm - Partially Kissed Hero: Chapter 12
In which Harrymort condescends to his friends, makes up more reasons to hate Dumbledore, and blackmails government officials.Collapse )
Current Location: The Forbidden Forest
Current Music: PoA OST - Double Trouble

(40 comments | Leave a comment)

December 28th, 2016

08:47 pm - How I Became Ayame - Ch. 18 "And Now for Someone Completely Different"
Author"s NotesCollapse )

Chapter 18: And Now for Someone Completely Different

How I Became Ayame - Ch. 18Collapse )

Previous | Table of Contents | Next

(Leave a comment)

December 4th, 2016

10:40 am - Fat and Ugly [Chapters 1-3]
Fat and Ugly — NEXT

Fat and Ugly
Blossom thinks that she is fat and ugly, and does some dangerous things to herself. BrickxBlossom. Rating T, because I'm cautious. The first chapter is really short, because it's just an introduction.

Iiiiiiiiii am probably not the best person to be dealing with a fic like this.

God, that sounds awful, doesn't it? But it's true. Don't get me wrong, I loved watching the Powerpuff Girls growing up, empathizing with Buttercup waaaaaay more than I should've, and I'm as pissed off at what the recent reboot did to the show as anyone else. However, my involvement in the actual fic-writing side of the show has been tenuous at best. As someone who was never all that fond of the Rowdyruff Boys, never saw the point of them, and thus didn't ship any PPG/RRB combinations, I never really had a good leverage through which to make it my fandom the way SpongeBob, Die Anstalt, Night Vale and Sims 3 have been my fandoms. My only real shield in that whole heteronormative mess was the fics that my longterm friend
commander30 wrote, and even she had to stop someday.

Further, this particular fanfic deals with eating disorders, self-harm, and (supposedly) the issue of your own expectations of yourself not matching up with reality. I have... more-than-passing experience with the latter, and my relationship with the former is, while not exact, equally rocky. Not a good combination, all in all.

But I have owed aforementioned
commander30 a favor for some time now, and now that the year of hell is almost over, I'd like to get at least one more attempt at a 'consistent spork schedule' done before 2017. So let's see if I can make the best out of a disasterous plot bunny: this is Fat and Ugly.

Beauty is only skin deep, you shallow, superficial, ugly, pom-pom waving, cocky, rude, low-life tramp!Collapse )
Current Mood: confusedconfused

(17 comments | Leave a comment)

10:11 am - [TAEKARADO] Fat and Ugly

Fat and Ugly

By pinkpower

Alternate Title: Your Experience is Not Representative of Everyone


*booming Narrator voice* Sugar. Spice. And everything nice and/or ass-kicking. These were the ingredients used to create the – not perfect, but still pretty awesome children's TV show for aspiring little girls.

But fanfic author pinkpower, responsible for such classics as Change Your Point of View, purposefully added an extra ingredient to the concoction...

Eating disorders. An eating disorder for Blossom, to be exact.

And thus, Fat and Ugly was born!

Customary trigger warnings: eating disorders (obviously), fat shaming, emetophobia, self-harm, implied violence in places (though not for the usual reasons you'd expect to see violence in a PPG fanfic).

Table of ContentsCollapse )

(Leave a comment)

December 5th, 2016

12:50 pm - A Kidnapped Santa Claus

Kidnap Mr. Sandy Claws!Collapse )

Current Mood: excitedexcited

(21 comments | Leave a comment)

December 25th, 2016

06:22 am - How I Became Ayame - Ch. 17 "Beginning Our First Proper Dungeon"
Author"s NoteCollapse )

Chapter 17: Beginning Our First Proper Dungeon
Whoever Catches the Hidden Reference is Amazing

How I Became Ayame - Chapter 17Collapse )
Previous | Table of Contents | Next

(4 comments | Leave a comment)

December 23rd, 2016

01:40 pm - Postponement the Second
We have a rough draft of the second part of the "Witches Past and Present" post. Unfortunately, ketmakura is ill and unable to add her comments, and zelda_queen is involved in last-minute wrapping and crafting things out of paper for Christmas.

Also, I already know that our usual Tuesday and Thursday schedule will be impossible next week due to Christmas falling on Sunday this year. (Sunday being the day that I usually ask to have rough drafts--with pics and commentary added--back. Which means that my co-sporkers generally work on the rough drafts on Friday and Saturday. I can't picture ANYONE going over Walker's drivel on Christmas Eve--and I sure am not working on it on Christmas Day.)

So...our apologies, folks. "Witches Past and Present, Part II" will have to wait until next year. We're thinking Tuesday, January 3, 2017. Hopefully that will work out.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Good Kwanzaa to all those who celebrate those holidays, and a joyous winter season to all those who do not. May you all be protected from the elements, well-fed, blessed with clean water, safely sheltered, and happy at this and every time of year. And may next year be kind to--and safe for--all of you.

See you in 2017.

(25 comments | Leave a comment)

December 21st, 2016

12:33 am - FFT: Bonus Essays--Witches Past and Present Pt. I [SPORKERS: ZELDAQUEEN, KET MAKURA & GEHAYI]
Plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize/Only be sure always to call it please researchCollapse )

(74 comments | Leave a comment)

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