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December 31st, 2012

09:24 pm - WELCOME TO DAS SPORKING [sticky post]

Welcome one and all to das_sporking! I am your host, das_mervin, and I hope you enjoy your stay at my fabulous little community of sporkers. Here, we have over thirty different sporkers that spork in over forty different fandoms including original fiction, so you have plenty of flavors to choose from. The sporks range from the short and succinct to highly-detailed and long-winded, but above all else, they are all devoted to snarky analysis of the stories they pick apart.

Aren’t sure where to start? Well, come on in—this post has the rules and every single link that might interest you and help you find your way around.

Community RulesCollapse )

Das Sporking Points of InterestCollapse )

The Chatterbox

You talked, I listened—some of the comm members here expressed an interest in a place where they could just talk—well, here it is! Welcome to the Chatterbox! It’s kept here at das_sporking so you don’t have to go join another comm or something. With these posts, you don’t have to keep your discussion limited to a chapter or part of a story in a sporking—here, you can just talk with the other comm members and get to know them. It doesn’t always have to be about badfic and bad writing! Right now, the list of topics is short, but if the Chatterbox proves popular, perhaps the list shall soon expand.

The Twilight Series
Leah Clearwater
The Fifty Shades Trilogy
The Fifty Shades of Grey Movies
Das Sporking

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

February 12th, 2017

05:23 pm - Throne of Glass Chapter 8 and 9
Read more...Collapse )

(5 comments | Leave a comment)

February 9th, 2017

05:37 pm - Early Redemption - Chapter 63
Last time, Anakin had Vader sedated on the Falcon and the chapter ended with Qui-Gon's ghost showing up. Sounds interesting, right? Unfortunately, we're in a QN fic.

Chapter 63 - We See Dead PeopleCollapse )

(2 comments | Leave a comment)

February 1st, 2017

09:34 pm - Beautiful Creatures -- 10.09: A Crack in the Plaster
Cara: All right, everyone, we got ourselves another guest sporker because there are only so many times HG and I can say Ethan is a judgmental, sexist, hypocritical douche before we need to bring in someone else to say the same thing. This time, though, we got ourselves… A MOD. Named ZeldaQueen! *shock and awe*

ZeldaQueen: Anything to get away from Barbara Walker and her symbolic uteruses for a bit.

Cara: Trust me, Ethan isn’t a vacation. Sporkers never go on vacation, even when they guest spork.

ZeldaQueen: Understand, I don’t intend to win on this so much as lose slightly less.

Cara: Let’s get started, there is no time like the present.

Read more...Collapse )

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February 21st, 2017

12:58 am - FFT: Bonus Essays--Violence in Religion Pt. III [SPORKERS: ZELDAQUEEN & GEHAYI]
In Which Gehayi Walks OutCollapse )

(122 comments | Leave a comment)

January 29th, 2017

10:10 pm - The Glove of Darth Vader: Table of Contents
The Glove of Darth Vader

By Paul and Hollace Davids

Alternate Title: Luke Skywalker Saves the Whales

SPORKER: MasterGhandalf

Back in the early nineties, the Star Wars Expanded Universe was at an odd place. Neither the Prequel nor Sequel trilogies had been released or even created yet, and the novel line was just starting to advance past Return of the Jedi. There were some real gems that came out of this period. There were a lot of books that... weren't so good. And then there was a six-part YA series that never got an official name but has come to be known as Jedi Prince after its central character. Largely brushed over by canon even before the rebranding as Legends, it became a running joke for EU fans. And now, Das Sporking, I bring it to you. Behold the wonder that is the first book is this, ah, legendary story - The Glove of Darth Vader!

Table of ContentsCollapse )
Current Location: Yavin 4
Current Music: Binary Sunset

(34 comments | Leave a comment)

10:13 pm - The Glove of Darth Vader: Intro and Chapter 1
Chapter 1: Droids on a MissionCollapse )
Current Location: Yavin 4
Current Music: Rebel Fanfare

(48 comments | Leave a comment)

January 27th, 2017

05:22 pm - Magician's Gambit: Chapter Twenty-Five- Sinking Ships
ASTRA: On the one hand, there’s only two more chapters after this one.

AURORA: *grins*

ASTRA: On the other hand, this is where things get bad. As in, containing extensive sexism and slut-shaming, discussion of child sacrifice, and just all-around really bad stuff.

AURORA: *groans*

ASTRA: So we may as well just do the damn thing.

Read more...Collapse )
Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
Current Music: Stealing Sheep- Apparition

(17 comments | Leave a comment)

February 16th, 2017

10:22 pm - FFT: Bonus Essays--Violence in Religion Pt. II [SPORKERS: ZELDAQUEEN & GEHAYI]
Mythbusting WalkerCollapse )

(61 comments | Leave a comment)

January 25th, 2017

10:58 pm - Beautiful Creatures -- 10.09: Gathering Days Part Two
Cara: Look here for Part One! Read more...Collapse )

(28 comments | Leave a comment)

February 14th, 2017

03:31 pm - FFT: Bonus Essays--Violence in Religion Pt. I [SPORKERS: ZELDAQUEEN & GEHAYI]
Long, long ago, in a fictional land far, far away...Collapse )

(91 comments | Leave a comment)

January 25th, 2017

10:45 pm - Beautiful Creatures -- 10.09: Gathering Days Part One
Cara: *rubs face* God, this book is such a shitshow.

Also, small TRIGGER WARNING for when Ethan pushes Lena around and forces her into a situation she’s uncomfortable in. Because he’s a dick.

Read more...Collapse )

(29 comments | Leave a comment)

February 12th, 2017

10:26 pm - [Mod Post] - PreCure Series Sporkings
Hello, hello, ladies and gentlemen. It's your friendly neighborhood moderator here, with a quick Sunday evening announcement.

I know some of you have noticed this by now, but all of the sporkings for the fics of a particularly notorious PreCure stuthor (name withheld because he's very fond of running his username in search engines) have been removed from the comm. This was at the request of the sporkers. I won't go into the details of their reasons out of respect for their privacy. All you need to know is that the decision was made due to a combination of future chapters being monotonous and boring, several very unpleasant incidents that came out of the sporking, and an overall lack of interest in it.

Because of a number of issues with the fanfictions, chief among them being their stuthor's love of Googling to find if anyone is saying anything bad about himself and his love of harassing (read - sending threats to) anyone he finds doing so, anything by this stuthor is officially blacklisted from the comm. Trust me though, given how monotonous his work is? If you read one or two rage-inducing chapters of his work, you've read them all.

I would ask that everyone please respect the privacy of the sporkers on this matter. In particular, I would ask that nobody ask either of them for copies of the sporking. They aren't going to give out any, so please don't ask.

Thank you for your time, everyone, and I hope everyone had a restful Sunday!

- ZQ

(11 comments | Leave a comment)

January 24th, 2017

07:28 pm - Early Redemption - Chapter 62
Previously on Early Redemption, Anakin and Obi-Wan spent a lot of time standing around Vader's unconscious body and waiting for something to happen. Well things are sure to get interesting now that the Alliance has Vader in custody, right? Right?

Chapter 62 - Happy-Sappy TimeCollapse )

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January 23rd, 2017

01:33 pm - Wings Chapter 7 and 8
Something's happening for once!Collapse )

(21 comments | Leave a comment)

January 19th, 2017

02:57 pm - Wizard's First Rule - Chapter 27
She beamed. The Bird Man beamed. The elders beamed.Collapse )

(16 comments | Leave a comment)

January 13th, 2017

02:53 pm - Meet the Corellians - Chapter 6
Last time, as if Lola wasn't obnoxious enough, we found out that Leia has a little Sue-kid of her own. Can this story get any worse? As we're about to find out, yes. Oh, yes.

Chapter 6 - Who is this person and what the hell did she do with Leia??Collapse )

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January 10th, 2017

08:48 pm - Beautiful Creatures -- 9.24: The Last Three Rows
Cara: I realized that we haven’t done a plot recap. We are pretty much a quarter the way through the book, so I think we should do a plot recap except… I have no idea what the plot is.

HG: That’s because there hasn’t been much of a ‘plot’ for these past few chapters. But, if I were to hazard a guess… The plot thus far has revolved around average sixteen year old dickwad Ethan Wate, who lives with his depressed father and superstitious, ornery mother/grandmother figure Amma, runs into mysterious new girl Lena Duchannes, who everyone instantly despises because 1) she’s ‘different’ and 2) because she’s related to a man who doesn’t come out of his house very often, and… Yeah. There’s some stuff about random visions, a magic locket, telepathic communication, and oh, right, Lena is a Sorceress Caster. We learned that last chapter.

To be perfectly honest, most of these chapters have had little to do with any plot, however. Most deal with Ethan either a) whining, b) judging people, c) being an asshole, or d) all of the above, especially whenever he’s with Lena.

Cara: So, it’s not so much a ‘plot’ as a ‘series of loosely connected events that for some reason revolve around Ethan’.

HG: Can’t you hurry up and publish your dragon story? That’s so much more interesting than any of these characters, and far, far less infuriating.

Cara: I’M WORKING ON IT. Finding an agent is a slow process. But enough about my deep seeded insecurities, let’s get on with the chapter. Read more...Collapse )

(38 comments | Leave a comment)

11:06 pm - Magician's Gambit: Chapter Twenty-Four- Let The Anvils Fly
AURORA: *sighs*

ASTRA: I hear you.

Read more...Collapse )
Current Mood: determineddetermined
Current Music: Angelspit- As It Is In Heaven

(3 comments | Leave a comment)

January 8th, 2017

02:24 pm - Early Redemption - Chapter 61
Previously on Early Redemption, Anakin and Obi-Wan shot Vader down and then they decided to save him even though they were the ones who shot him down. Logic! I'm sure this next chapter will be just as logical.

Chapter 61 - Our Heroes Do Nothing Yet AgainCollapse )

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January 1st, 2017

04:42 pm - Partially Kissed Hero: Chapter 13
In which Newt Scamander must surely be rolling over in his grave.Collapse )
Current Location: The Forbidden Forest
Current Music: Fantastic Beasts OST - "Inside the Case"

(37 comments | Leave a comment)

December 29th, 2016

11:51 pm - Throne of Glass Chapter 6 and 7
Read more...Collapse )

(41 comments | Leave a comment)

December 25th, 2016

10:04 pm - SAO Volume 3 - Chapter 2 Part 2
This time, I get back to work!

And a lot of varied stuff happens.

Sporking time, take flight!Collapse )

(6 comments | Leave a comment)

December 21st, 2016

06:51 pm - Magician's Gambit: Chapter Twenty-Three- Fun For All The Family
AURORA: Hey, everyone. This chapter has a fight scene and some rather gruesome deaths in it, just so you know.

ASTRA: And that title is not meant to be a Goodies reference.

AURORA: Speak for yourself. *hums the theme*

Read more...Collapse )
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: Crystal Castles- Baptism

(23 comments | Leave a comment)

December 14th, 2016

11:37 pm - The Threat Of Humanity: Chapter 1 - Part 2
Part two of the Speshul Sparkly Sue!Collapse )
Table Of Contents
Current Location: Edoras
Current Mood: eh
Current Music: Marilyn Manson

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