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August 22nd, 2010

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03:01 am - Rose Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - Table of Contents
Rose Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

By Keiran Halcyon

Alternate Title: Rose Potter is a Psychopathic Canon-Raping Bitch

Rose has often “solved” the mysteries way ahead of that idiot Harry Potter, for she is smarter than he is. But now, she does the greatest move in destroying all of the suspense and mystery by revealing the entire plot by the second chapter. From there, the entire fic is literally pointless, merely her recapping everything that happened—except there is no conflict at all. None. She knows who Sirius is, knows who Pettigrew is and quickly has him removed and jailed, and so essentially goes through canon unobstructed by things like plot. But wait, you might say—how can she possibly remove Pettigrew? Isn’t Halcyon well-known for adhering ridiculously to the original material so he can write with minimal effort? How true that is. Rose solves that problem—she lets Pettigrew go. Intrigued? Read on.

SPORKING CANON: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Note: This sporking is not featured on this LJ; all links lead away to my original Rose Potter scripts and sporkings located on JournalFen.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 – Owl Post
Chapter 2 – The Large Black Dog
Chapter 3 – The Knight Bus
Chapter 4 – The Leaky Cauldron
Chapter 5 – The Dementor
Chapter 6 – Talons and Tea Leaves
Chapter 7 – The Boggart in the Wardrobe
Chapter 8 – Dumbledore and Patronuses
Chapter 9 – Grim Defeat
Chapter 10 – The Marauder’s Map
Chapter 11 – The Firebolt
Chapter 12 – The Struggling Patronus
Chapter 13 – Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw
Chapter 14 – Snape’s Grudge
Chapter 15 – The Quidditch Final
Chapter 16 – Professor Trelawney’s Prediction
Chapter 17 – The Golden Patronus

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