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August 22nd, 2010

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03:24 am - Rose Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - Table of Contents
Rose Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

By Keiran Halcyon

Alternate Title: Rose Potter is a Psychopathic Cock-Sucking Canon-Raping Entitlement-Whore Plagiarizing Bitch

The last one! And only seven chapters long, because after chapter seven? Halcyon realized just what a hole he had dug for himself. Shortly after he finished the seventh chapter, the seventh book was released and completely destroyed everything he had written. He could no longer just rely on canon and ride it out and change a few details here and there to make his avatar look good. There was simply no possible way to be lazy anymore. So he completely abandoned it! After, of course, once again revealing the entire mystery by that seventh chapter. He went out with a bang, if anything.

SPORKING CANON: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Note: This sporking is not featured on this LJ; all links lead away to my original Rose Potter scripts and sporkings located on JournalFen.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 – Spinner’s End
Chapter 2 – Horace Slughorn
Chapter 3 – Of a Veela and OWLs
Chapter 4 – Draco’s Detour
Chapter 5 – The Slug Club
Chapter 6 – The Half-Blood Prince (Part I)
Chapter 6 – The Half-Blood Prince (Part II)
Chapter 7 – The House of Gaunt

(7 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:August 22nd, 2010 03:23 pm (UTC)
The utter hilarity of the entire thing is that it completely trashed Halcyon's argument. He kept going on about how Harry was stupid and clearly could have seen everything coming if he had two brain cells to rub together. Then, out comes Deathly Hallows and Halcyon clearly was unable to predict any of that. HA!
[User Picture]
Date:August 22nd, 2010 04:27 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah. Halcyon's arrogance is the best part of RPHBP. That's why Sands's closing lines were so great. Rose never saw Dumbledore using her coming and was talking about how much he loved her more than he loved Harry, and by default, that means HALCYON never saw it coming. Did you know that in another fic he was writing that was pre-HBP, he immediately made Snape evil because, clearly, he WAS, I mean, he killed Dumbledore!

The guy has no idea how to read beyond the superficial. It's revolting. I am so glad I'm finished with him.
[User Picture]
Date:August 22nd, 2010 04:34 pm (UTC)
I also read a comment from him in his Yahoo Group that said that he was pretty much planning on saving Dumbledore from dying. XD We know how that would have screwed things up.
Date:August 24th, 2013 09:25 pm (UTC)

Oh, the irony...

Yeah, the irony of that wasn't lost on me either. Of course Rose is so much better than that idiot Harry, she can see the whole plot coming, it was easy, anyone could do it... And then, out comes Deathly Hallows, and it turns out, Rose knew about as much of the real situation as Harry did! All of the stuff she knew that Harry didn't was just superficial. Deathly Hallows basically proved to all the internet that Rose was cheating, as without the help of her author reading ahead, she was just as bad as Harry.

I can't help but think that J.K. made the book surprising on purpose, just for that reason.

Though, to be fair, a lot of people couldn't see that last book coming. I have a book, 'What Will Happen in Harry Potter Number Seven', published by Mugglenet staff, and it got a lot of the guesses wrong, although their logic was sound, and these are guys whose job/hobby it is to read beyond the superficial, and to know everything there is to know about Harry Potter.
And, on the other side of the argument, in-story, he had no excuse, as Rose's sue-ness would mean that Dumbledore would tell her, and also, the Mugglenet guys easily got Snape's allegiance, and backed it up with quotes. And he still has no excuse for the spinner's end thing.

It's kinda funny, though. Rose is perfect, and definately better than Harry, but because of this, Rose's fic was never able to be finished, exactly because she was so much better than Harry, who was able to make it to the happy ending.
[User Picture]
Date:August 22nd, 2010 03:50 pm (UTC)
I've just read through all of the rose potter sporkings in one sitting. hilarious sporking, god-awful mary sue.

also, as a side-note, the link to chapter 7 goes back to the first half of chapter 6 - is that supposed to happen?
[User Picture]
Date:August 22nd, 2010 04:29 pm (UTC)
Wow. How the hell did you do that?!

And no, it is not supposed to do that--thanks for finding the broken link! *runs off to fix* and thanks for reading, too. :) I have no idea how you managed to stomach ALL SIX YEARS in one sitting; you clearly have better endurance than I do.
[User Picture]
Date:August 22nd, 2010 04:39 pm (UTC)
Wow. How the hell did you do that?!
partly with a few hours to spare, partly with lots of bleeprin.

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