04:28 pm - Year 4: Ariana and the Empath's Power - Table of Contents
Ariana and the Empath’s Power
By Ariana Black
Alternate Title: Ariana and the Beating of the Readers’ Heads with the word “Empath”
After large quantities of chocolate, caffeine, and Snape, Hyde returns to normal, just in time to have Mervin be traumatized by Year Four. The author wanted to make sure we understand that Ariana Black and her SUE-PER POWERS are the COOLEST THING IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE AND WE HAD BETTER LIKE IT, DAMMIT. Meaning the word “Empath” is repeated about fifty times a page! Yay! We really wanted to read a fic devoted ENTIRELY to her reveling in her SUE-PER powers! And we all commit mass suicide as the author decides that mutilating the students and Dumbledore wasn’t enough—she moves onto SEVERUS SNAPE and turns him into a quivering pink pile of rat crap! Huzzah!
SPORKING CANON:Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix