November 6th, 2010
|das_mervin||09:11 pm - [DOODASNAPEFREAK] Hogwarts Under Exposed: A New Girl in Town - Table of Contents|
Hogwarts Under Exposed:
A New Girl in Town
Alternate Title: *dies*
No. No point in summaries anymore. This…
No. *walks off*
Warnings: Excessive nudity, language, torture, pedophilia, voyeurism, breast-feeding fetishes, watersports, scat, sex, rape, gang-rape, and rage-inducing topics multiplied by ten from the last fic. Includes an explicit sex scene between a girl trapped in the body of an eleven-year-old girl and a teenage boy. This fic should not be read by children or other living things. EVER. In fact, it should just be destroyed, preferably along with the author. Die, Neil. Go die. I hope you’re dead, you sick bastard.This fic is not sporked by me or any of my regulars—this is a total solo mission by one doodasnapefreak over at sue_assassins! All links will lead away to her sporking journal. You not only sporked “Over Exposed” by yourself, but now you’re taking on THIS ONE? *ships you cookies and booze*
Table of Contents
SPORKING CANON: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Chapter 1 – The Message
Chapter 2 – Never Satisfied
Chapter 3 – The New Girl
Chapter 4 – Half-Truths
Chapter 5 – Gone Astray
Chapter 6 – Rainy Day Blues
Chapter 7 – Hard Decisions
Chapter 8 – Best Friends
Chapter 9 – Daddy’s Little Girl
Chapter 10 – Anything for a Friend
Chapter 11 – Will the Real Tom Pitt Please Stand Up?
Chapter 12 – Nothing Personal
Chapter 13 – Totally Revealing
Chapter 14 – Luna’s Gut Feeling
Chapter 15 – Snow Angels
Here's a belated thanks. I've avoided commenting on Das Sporking. Frankly, I'm uncomfortable with a lot of sporkings, especially when the suethor's just silly and immature: my grandmother was savaged by her writing teacher, and didn't write for sixty years. But I wanted to drop by and say thank you to you, doodasnapefreak, and everybody for sporking these fics.
Y'know, of all the reasons I dislike this series, the pettiest is that it brings up interesting matters but keeps them from being discussed. For instance, privacy, courtesy, and when one should and shouldn't let others express themselves by doing something offensive. All intriguing, but this isn't the time to talk about them, not when expressing yourself means giving upskirt shots to all and sundry. And it would be interesting to learn about how to bring up a teenager in matters of sexuality, because there's a lot more to that than sex ed. But it's a hard subject to broach, never mind with Emily's flapping nethers hanging over us.
Someone mentioned Loxie and Zoot / The Bare Pit, a webcomic about an Australian nudist resort. If anyone reading this wants something healthier to get their mind off of Hogwarts Exposed, I recommend that one. Okay, it's eyeroll land: the plot involves a lot of people taking their clothes off in silly ways, the antagonist is of the mustache-twirling persuasion, and it uses the word "textiles." On the other hand, someone goes to get another character a damn towel to sit on. Yay! (TBF Overexposed mentions carrying towels on that cruise.)
Or the entire run of Ranma 1/2, which has a ton of breasts in it, but a lot of the characters don't really care.
Or the Swedish comic strip Eva & Adam where girls about the age of Emily and Kim are chatting around a table, end up going topless, and then keep on talking and not much happens. It shot my eyebrows into the ceiling in my teens, but kudos to the artist for telling teenagers that bewbs aren't always a huge deal.
Or the also-Swedish teen film The Ketchup Effect, which gets very dark at times, but on the side shows how elementary schoolers deal with sexuality. Which is to say, they titter and act like idiots.
Or the story in my high school textbook, where the teenaged protagonist invites in a homeless teenage girl, and when he checks up on her she's using the building's sauna and invites him in. Now, this isn't as sexual as it could be, partly for cultural reasons and partly because saunas are too damn hot for that, but he goes AUUUGH. He ends up climbing in wearing long johns and making a fool of himself. That's how a lot of young people react: AUUUGH. When Jamie ends up naked in the common room in the first fic, have some poor first-year yelp and run away.
Or The Giver, where the protagonist has a dream about wanting to bathe with a female frend of his. He finds this confusing, brings it up, his family puts him on suppressants, and that's the end of it. Which is rather messed up, but at least it isn't Hogwarts Exposed.
At least the people in these fics don't act their age. Imagine someone who hates clothes to the point of pushing other people into nudity, and who's grossly oversexualized, having the understanding of a child. "But daaa~ad! All I did was grab his winkie! I wanted to know what it feels like! You know it's not sexual, you let me do it all the time when we wrestle! It's not fair! Billy's big brother let me tast-
And now I've creeped myself out. Rant over.
Neil, if you ever read this... there's an article out there by Luke Malone, you may want to read it.
Edited at 2015-07-21 01:07 pm (UTC)