March 15th, 2011
|Date:||March 15th, 2011 02:34 pm (UTC)|| |
It's here. It's finally here.
Dear lord, RUN!
Somehow I am really excited that you'll recap this.
Hurrah! I love starting my day with your sporkings.
I'm confused though - I swear I once read Eclipse and Breaking Dawn sporks/recaps here, long before you started on Twilight. Did you have links to someone else's sporks (Mrs. Hyde's maybe?), or am I thinking of a different journal entirely?
|Date:||March 15th, 2011 11:49 pm (UTC)|| |
Hurray! More sporkings!
Good luck, Mervin! We're behind you all the way!
Good luck to you, brave Mervin. I'm looking forward to your recaps, but to be honest I'm dreading diving back into this book. This was the toughest Twilight book for me, because there's just so much that makes me angry. For at least the first half there's something in just about every chapter that shoots me into eye-bleeding, gut-wrenching rage. The spark plugs...the imprinting...that part when Bella heads home after visiting Jake and the silver Volvo is just following her, everywhere, until she finally goes home and he's up in her bedroom, waiting for her....
I think I need to lie down.
Oh, goody! It's here! I have been waiting on pins and needles for this part, because your in-depth and thorough sporkings of Twilight and New Moon have been so spot on and jarringly EYE OPENING to the intensely high levels of fuckery this series possesses.
I used to be a casual fan at first, then I began re-reading the novels and each time I re-read, I got the increasing feeling that Something Was Not Right. And lo and behold, you've put more perfectly into words exactly what was Not Right more beautifully and accurately than I ever could. Cheers for that, mate! :)
So, good luck and good wishes to THIS PART, because from here...it only Gets Worse. :|
If it wouldn't likely be considered cruel and unusual and banned under the Geneva Conventions, I'd say we should lock you in a room with the books so life wouldn't interfere with you posting at least one shredded chapter per day. Because no day is truly complete without you Paul'ing out at least once. ;p
Chap-ter 7! Chap-ter 7! Please, please serve us chapter 7! My doctor says I'm not getting enough snark in my diet and if I don't start getting some soon I might end up in the hospital with only days to live. ;D
You know what, after reading your sporkings and watching parts of the movies with my sister and housemate, I've determined that Noo Mewn and Eclipse should have about 85% gutted out of them, then been slapped together as one book. That way, we could introduce the werewolves and the Volturi against the backdrop of Victoria's assault. With no Cullens around, Bella would be stuck as a stranger in a strange land while a crazed vampire and her army try to kill her. This would give her plenty of legitimate and plot-related dangerous situations to be in so she could coax out Imaginary Edward, it would give Jacob a reason to protect her, and it would give Edward a reason to come back to her. Bella would see first-hand what would happen to her if/when she turns, and would be able to appreciate exactly what Edward's position is on the whole thing.
Of course, none of that happened and Bella just stands by and watches while the "plot" happens before her eyes.
Edited at 2011-12-30 12:43 am (UTC)
Woah. That is a really cool idea. But then again... it would mean we wouldn't have the opportunity for that glorious tent scene, and we can't have that, oh no!
Hi. Are there no asides for this one, or are they just going to be sporked on a later date like most of the Twilight and New Moon asides? If it's the latter, can I spork one? I mean, it's ok, if you don't want me to, I just thought I'd ask.
Edited at 2014-04-12 09:08 am (UTC)
No, there were no asides for Eclipse. The novella Bree Tanner was originally going to be an aside for Eclipse, but it turned out to be much longer than Meyer intended and so she published it separately--and I recapped that, of course.
And I read it, of course. I think it was the first one of your Twilight recaps, that I read. I stopped midway into Twilight to read Bree (the recaps I mean), because I remember liking it more than I liked Twilight. It had some glaring problems obviously, like Bree being a total dumbass, and Meyer's thrope of the girl giving up on life, after her boyfriend is dead. despite the fact that she knew him for 3 days, just about (you know, the same as Bella); like all of Meyer's work, but I was still under the impression that was semi-mediocre, at least. After reading your recap however, I realised this book was crap too.
Edited at 2014-04-12 02:22 pm (UTC)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoXvzTgzHH8 Eclipse as an RPG video, quite funny.