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Fifty Shades of Grey--Chapter 11 (Part I) [SPORKERS: GEHAYI and DAS MERVIN) - The Sporkings of Das Mervin and Company

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August 23rd, 2012


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gehayi
06:35 pm - Fifty Shades of Grey--Chapter 11 (Part I) [SPORKERS: GEHAYI and DAS MERVIN)
Chapter 10 (Part II) | Table of Contents | Chapter 11 (Part II)



Chapter Eleven

Part I


GEHAYI: Ket is on vacation this chapter; after the last one, I think that she needed it. So this time around, we have a guest sporker. Hello, Mervin!

MERVIN: Hello, Gehayi. I can’t say I’m happy to be here, because that would imply I’m looking forward to sporking this, which would be a lie. Especially when one considers I gave it to you and Ket in the first place just so I wouldn’t have to do it. However, I do look forward to spending this time in your company. Also, for the sake of disclosure, while I am not in the Lifestyle or anything like that, dubcon, mild bondage, and rough sex do happen to be way, way up there on my fetish list. I say this to make sure nobody out there tries to accuse me of just being a prude or some such nonsense, or that well, this just isn’t to my tastes because I’m a vanilla wafer. Oh, trust me. The bondage we actually get in this book is very, very tame, and I’m aware of it. *scratches chin* I do wonder what the readership that loves this book and calls it so daring and bold would think of that if they heard it. Because, you know, this isn’t very daring or extreme when it comes to bondage. All it is is some restraint and spanking. Gaston here is such a marshmallow that he doesn’t even do something as simple and common as knifeplay and/or bloodplay—which is hot. A sexy, bloody kiss is always nice to have when somebody’s on their knees and bound, you know?

GEHAYI: What gets me is that I know that there are so MANY more kinks out there than just spanking someone or extremely mild bondage with a necktie. You mentioned knifeplay and bloodplay, Mervin. Let me add a few more. Gunplay. Cages. Breathplay. Bites and bruises. Handcuffs. Shackles and manacles. Body alteration and/or injury. Scars and scarification. Electricity. Hypnosis. Mirrors. Double penetration. Piercings and needleplay. Pervertibles—that’s using everyday objects as sex toys. Sensation play. Sensory deprivation. THAT’S kink. Spanking and necktie bondage are practically vanilla.

MERVIN: And let’s never forget the Golden Rule of Fetishes—one person’s squick is another person’s fetish. Basically, what we’re saying here is what Ket said when she visited me earlier this year. Gaston here is not into BDSM—he just wants to tie women up and beat them and is using BDSM as an excuse.

GEHAYI: That sums his entire character up in one sentence. Now, onto the recap.

Now, when we left Ana, she was ripping open the envelope Christian Grey had given her so that she could read the contract. There’s not a lot we can say about this.

MERVIN: Because there is seriously no point in recapping the contract. For good reason.

GEHAYI: Oh yes. According to Ket, it’s a pretty standard contract. As in, probably C & P’d from somewhere.

MERVIN: Ket’s right—James probably just C & P’d it from a website. We’re gonna ignore the fact that that is vaguely plagiaristic, because I doubt she cited any sources and I know for a fact there is no way she could come up with that contract on her own. For one, the grammar and spelling are all flawless, so she quite obviously did not write it. For two, the language is completely different than anything in the books, so again—obviously, she did not write it. But all of that is neither here nor there. The big problem is that she pulled the wrong one. That’s what needs to be discussed. That is not a Submissive contract, and there is no way you could try and claim it is one. It is a SLAVE contract that Gaston is trying to force her to sign.

GEHAYI: “Submissive” and “slave” aren’t the same, I know that.

MERVIN: For those who don’t know the difference between a slave and a Submissive contract, here’s the biggie. Slaves? Have no rights. And that’s what Gaston wants. He wants her to relinquish every and all rights she has to him, so he will control every aspect of her life and she will have no choice but to obey. Some people dig that. Some people do not. I honestly do not care if you like it or if you don’t, because I don’t care what you do in your sex life. But to take a sexually naïve person and say, “Yeah, this is a Submissive contract!” is a complete LIE.

GEHAYI: And he’s absolutely sure that she won’t even CHECK.

MERVIN: Which renders all of the talk of how “it’s all gonna be consensual” and “everyone’s going to be on even ground before it’s signed” go out the window. Contract is already null and void. Grey violated it before she even signed it because the word Submissive is all throughout that contract instead of Slave. So she can sign it all she wants but doesn’t have to do a damn thing on it. He lied.

DID NOT DO THE RESEARCH—SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL, MY ASS: 1

He also violates it by refusing to adhere to her limits. When they are actually discussing all of this later in the book, she says no anal. He says, “No, I like it, so we’re going to do it.”

DNDTR—SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL, MY ASS: 2

GEHAYI: That’s not the only thing, either. Also later, she says that she doesn’t want to be spanked or caned or suspended. He concedes the suspension, but he tells her that tough luck, caning is part of the package, so she has to do it.

DNDTR—SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL, MY ASS: 3

MERVIN: Yeah. RED FLAGS, ANABELLA. And just looking at this thing and researching BDSM slaves on Wikipedia—Wiki says even slaves, despite giving up all rights, can end the relationship at any time. This contract says she can’t. She has to ask permission, meaning he can say no. Which, at that point, means consent is kind of gone now, no matter what contract you’re using.

DNDTR—SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL, MY ASS: 4

GEHAYI: And the fact that he’s lying to her to get her to do what he wants rather suggests that he’s never going to let her go, doesn’t it?

DNDTR—SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL, MY ASS: 5

Tell you what, let’s just go over at least parts of the contract. There are a few clauses that don’t sound bad on their own, at least if both parties are choosing this with the full knowledge of what they’re getting into, but in view of Gaston’s behavior…*shudder*

MERVIN: Christian Grey can make a standard slave contract, a kink that is accepted and happens and occurs between consenting adults all the time, look deeply, DEEPLY wrong and look like something that should never be done EVER. He leaves slime all over everything. *fumes* Actually, what he does is show the importance of being a good Master and why it requires so much trust. A Slave has no rights, and they have to do everything they are told to do because that’s how it works and that’s what everybody wants. As such, you gotta find yourself a Master that you know won’t order you to do stuff that is outside of your limits because they know you and know exactly what the score is and how much, for lack of a better word, “abuse” you can take. This guy? Doesn’t give a shit. He just wants to tie up and beat women and boss them around for a few months before looking for a new one. Because he’s a disgusting, abusive, cock-sucking piece of fuck.

GEHAYI: The first thing that attracted my attention was this:

CONTRACT

Made this day_________ of 2011 (“The Commencement Date”)

BETWEEN CHRISTIAN GREY of 301 Escala, Seattle, WA 98889 (“The Dominant”)


Escala is a real luxury condominium in Seattle. According to Forbes Magazine, “[a]menities include a private spa, a gym with yoga studio, private dining room, full catering kitchen and dining area with room for 140, theater room, dog run: Escala is a little more like a five-star hotel than a condo building.” In fact, about the only thing that the condo doesn’t have is a helicopter pad on the roof.

James must have looked this place up—seriously, how many of you know the names of ritzy condos halfway across the world?—but she was helped enormously by serendipity, because the decorator must have been Alice. Not only is there a grand piano in the living room, but 90% of the place is white. I’m not too surprised about the soaking tub or the master bathroom, but the bar is the same way—and even the living room has a LOT of white in it. It’s so…Cullenesque.








Also, the rent for the penthouse is ridiculous—$4,000,000 to $6,000,000. And it’s currently unoccupied…partly because of the expense and partly because the condo association won’t let just anyone live there. Can’t you just hear the condo association on the subject of Christian Grey?

[Aristocrats:] Such a shame he wandered into our enclosure
How unfortunate this person has forced us to be blunt
No, we wouldn’t mind seeing him at Harrod’s
But behind the jewelry counter, not in front


MERVIN: Yeah, I’ve no doubt she researched it. I’m sure she just typed “most expensive condos in Seattle” into Google and went with the biggest and the best she found. That’s how I did research for “The Wedding Crashers.” For almost all of the stuff in there—the car, the honeymoon spot, the food, the dress—I just typed “most expensive [X]” and picked the priciest one. Know why I did that? To make sure I was a) staying as close to the source material as I possibly could and b) make them as pretentious and nouveau riche as I possibly could. And here E.L. James is using my exact same research techniques for Gaston’s crap. My amusement knows no bounds.

EAT THE RICH: 29

GEHAYI: Yeah, I agree. That’s the level of “research” in this thing. And that’s the BEST we can expect.

Anyway. The addresses to both Gaston’s and Ana’s residences, of course, don’t exist, as is common in most novels. Better to make one up than risk listing someone’s actual address and getting in hot water, as Tommy Tutone learned.

MERVIN: Sing it with me! *belts it out* Eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-ni-i-i-i-i-i-ne!

GEHAYI: However, I will not be generous with the zip codes. Making up street names and such is one thing, but when you set the story in an actual city and area of said city, you should use the correct zip codes. Neither are right. In fact, they just plain don’t exist. It’s especially stupid when she’s using an actual place for Gaston to live in that is easily found on the internet.

MERVIN: So…what you’re saying is she didn’t make up or change the name of where Gaston lives, but she did just change the address and zip code of the actual place…without changing the name of the actual place just so we’d be impressed when we researched it and found out the rent is six million dollars.

GEHAYI: Yes, that sounds about right.

MERVIN: And people ask why I’m so snide and angry all the time.

GEHAYI: And this is basically bullshit:

The Dominant and the Submissive agree and acknowledge that all that occurs under the terms of this contract will be consensual, confidential, and subject to the agreed limits and safety procedures set out in this contract. Additional limits and safety procedures may be agreed in writing.

GEHAYI: Nothing about this is consensual. Ana is mentally disabled; no, James did not intend her to be, but there is overwhelming proof for this in the text itself. She cannot reason or remember anything. Her awareness of sex is roughly on the level of a kindergartner’s. She’s easily manipulated and coerced, and Gaston knows it.

DNDTR—SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL, MY ASS: 6

MERVIN: Plus, my sticking point as always—she said stuff she didn’t want to do. “Too bad, I want it.” She said no, he refused to accept it. That is the opposite of consensual.

GEHAYI: And even when she gets angry about his hitting her—and she does—he trots out the hoariest cliché in the book: “You know you liked it!”

MERVIN: Hey, Gaston. I know you said you don’t do medical scenes, but you, me, and all this medical equipment got a date. You know you’ll like it!


Oh, yeah, and sorry about the rust and stuff. I hate modern equipment—it’s all so sterile and impersonal. This stuff has character! The Romans sure knew how to make it, didn’t they?

GEHAYI: Hey, I just noticed something. You mentioned the bit about him having to give her permission to break the contract. But that clause ALSO says that she can only break it for certain reasons.

The Submissive may request her release at any time, such request to be granted at the discretion of the Dominant subject only to the Submissive’s rights under clauses 2-5 and 8 above.

GEHAYI: Which means that she can only leave if she’s not enjoying “the exploration of her sexuality and its limits,” if she develops a “sexual, serious, infectious or life-threatening illness,” if he fails to keep the terms of the contract or if he endangers her safety. And since he determines if she’s enjoying herself, if she’s sick, if he’s obeying the contract or if he’s endangering her, she literally has no way out. That’s not a lot of ways out even if he’s NOT determining them, but add that in, and it’s a trap. And she doesn’t see it.

DNDTR—SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL, MY ASS: 7

MERVIN: That’s because she’s too busy going, “OH MY THIS ALL LOOKS SO NEW AND EXCITING OH MY I’M NOT SURE I WANT TO DO IT OH MY HAVE I SAID ‘OH MY’ ENOUGH TIMES YET? LET’S ASK THE INNER GODDESS.”

GEHAYI: …oh Jesus. I just saw something horrifying, in view of what Gaston’s already done.

15.2 The Dominant accepts the Submissive as his, to own, control, dominate and discipline during the Term. The Dominant may use the Submissive’s body at any time during the Allotted Times or any agreed additional times in any manner he deems fit, sexually or otherwise.

MERVIN: Yep. That’s a slave contract. In the hands of Gaston, it’s sheer HORROR.

GEHAYI: TO USE HER BODY SEXUALLY IN ANY WAY. So, that would include rape, right? Which he’s already threatened her with?

MERVIN: With a slave, that’s really nothing all that special. They willingly give up their rights, no matter what they want. Because…oddly enough, that IS what they want. But Ana DOES NOT GET IT.

DNDTR—SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL, MY ASS: 8

And, as always, this contract is already null and void because he’s saying Submissive. A sub has rights. A sub has a degree of power. A sub can pick and choose. A sub can say, “No, you can’t use my body however you want, because I don’t like hot wax poured down my asscrack.”

DNDTR—SAFE, SANE AND CONSENSUAL, MY ASS: 9

GEHAYI: Well, it’s not like slave contracts are legally binding anyway. But Ana doesn’t know THAT, either. Of course, if she opened a book or searched Google she might find out!

MERVIN: I mean, come on—all of the previous stuff was basically a gateway, manipulating her into this. He made her crave sex, and then said, “The only way you’ll get it is if you agree to be my slave.”


GEHAYI: Without using the term “slave.”

MERVIN: He never does, because E.L. James is a complete and utter MORON. Much as I’d love to blame it on Gaston being a creepy psycho? We all know it’s not. It’s because James is an ignorant cockmonkey.

GEHAYI: Because giving away your rights as a person WHILE YOU’RE COMPLETELY UNAWARE OF WHAT YOU’RE DOING is a good thing.

MERVIN: I mean, genuine slaves in the Lifestyle? They can be traded to other Masters and that kind of thing. They can be “bought” or “sold.” Not all of them do it—in fact, that’s a minority—but some people agree to it. That, or trading and borrowing. Me, I don’t like it. I don’t like the concept of being one myself or having one. It seriously just wigs me out. However, if that is a person’s kink? Fine. I’m fine with it. I don’t question very many kinks at all. But this? This is not that at all.

GEHAYI: Yeah. I don’t get it, but if they do it fully aware of what they are doing and WANT to do this, I have no problem. Ana, however, doesn’t know the difference between vanilla and kinky sex. The girl doesn’t even know that she can masturbate and get herself off that way! She doesn’t know or understand enough to make an informed decision!

MERVIN: Really, though this whole thing pisses me off for more than just the slave vs. submissive thing and you just kind of pointed out why. Because James, undoubtedly, would defend that mistake with the fact that she is an ignorant cockmonkey and just didn’t know. After all, I’ve seen people defend their love of the book with, “Well, I didn’t know that BDSM wasn’t like that, so it’s okay that it’s not accurately portrayed because I don’t know the difference.” No, it’s the fact that Gaston is getting her to crave sex and orgasms and actually manipulating her into believing that only he can give them to her and that the only way he’ll keep giving them to her is if she’ll agree to all of his demands. Wanna know why that is so off-pissing for me and why it makes me want to book a flight to England so that I might personally kick this bitch’s ass?

Because that is exactly what my ex-boyfriend did to me.

I was sexually naïve and innocent, very young, and he was the one who gave me my first orgasm. He got me hooked on them, and then proceeded to convince me that only he could do it, and that I couldn’t bring myself to orgasm. He conditioned me. And after he was done with that, he convinced me that I owed all kinds of sex back to him because, after all, he was doing that great favor to me and I couldn’t do it myself! Gaston is doing exactly what my ex-boyfriend did to me. The ex-boyfriend who abused me on every conceivable level: sexually, emotionally, physically, and mentally. The ex-boyfriend who had such a bad effect on me I wound up in a mental hospital because of him because I wanted to kill myself when it was all over and I realized that I’d just been abused for seven years and thought that I’d ruined my life, because of the time he found me.

*sneering* So, James, so far you remind Ket, Gehayi, and I very strongly of our exes, to the point that it both enrages and upsets us. Christian Grey is pretty much a nice little combination of all of our exes, taking all of their worst aspects and bundling them together into one absolutely foul and loathsome abomination of a character, and then you dump a lot of money on him and make him hot because, well, that makes it all better.

I’m not gonna bother trying to find a picture, GIF, or video that would best encompass just how much I despise you, getting rich off of this. Because there isn’t one. It just makes me feel used and dirty, like you’re publishing the worst chapter of my life and calling it True Love and making millions from it.

Fuck you, and fuck your fanbase. Yes, fuck the fanbase too. Because they agree with you. Because all of them, by saying it is romantic and True Love and wonderful, are by default saying that what happened to me, Gehayi, and Ket wasn’t rape and abuse.

Fuck. You. All.

GEHAYI: *applauds Mervin* There’s NOTHING I could say to top that.

Oh, and I just found something that I know wouldn’t work in every case.

15.17 The Submissive will ensure that she procures oral contraception and ensure that she takes it as and when prescribed to prevent any pregnancy.

GEHAYI: Now, I can’t take the Pill. I have no reason to, really, but I couldn’t even if I wanted to…because the medicine that I take combines badly with the Pill, creating a fertility drug. I’m just picturing Gaston telling a previous sub this and ending up with fifty billion kids. Because you’ll notice that he’s not even obligated to wear a condom.

MERVIN: Nope. Birth control shouldn’t be HIS problem. He doesn’t need to do any work here at all. Again—James? Your character makes a C&P slave contract look hideous.

GEHAYI: Finally, I’d like to mention these clauses:

19 The Safeword “Yellow” will be used to bring to the attention of the Dominant that the Submissive is close to her limit of endurance.

20 The Safeword “Red” will be used to bring to the attention of the Dominant that the Submissive cannot tolerate any further demands. When this word is said the Dominant’s action will cease completely with immediate effect.


GEHAYI: Remember this, because Ana won’t.

MERVIN: That’s because she’s an idiot. And Lord, what boring safewords. Yeah, I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised, given that he cycles through them so often, so why not just use red and yellow lights. But really, having interesting ones might’ve given a little characterization to him and maybe, just maybe, added humor, something that this story is decidedly lacking (which should also be no surprise, given that this is Twilight fanfiction). I mean, come on—“ARUGULA!

GEHAYI: Anyway. Eight pages later, the contract and its appendices—which focus on Gaston’s hard limits, possible hard and soft limits for Ana, and the kinds of punishment she’s willing to accept—are done and Ana is staring at the papers in incomprehension. So…normal behavior, then.

BELLADONNA POISONING: 106

MERVIN: Yep. And then…emails. Just…a bunch of emails.

Really.

Stupid.

Emails.

This chapter has hardly anything of value in it. I don’t even know what we’re gonna talk about.

GEHAYI: How about the subtext in these lines?

Perhaps I should borrow Kate’s pink flannel pajamas. I want something cuddly and reassuring around me.

GEHAYI: She wants to sleep in her roommate’s PJs because they are “cuddly.” Uh-HUH. Sure you don’t want to sleep with Kate because she’s cuddly, Ana?

MERVIN: I can’t even enjoy that because I have to call foul. She said they were pajamas of SHAME before! So they’re only shame when Kate wears them? Yeah, that doesn’t have any Unfortunate Implications, or anything.

GEHAYI: Unfortunately, we then hear from Dutiful Dora and Steffi the Sex Goddess:

I stare at myself in the bathroom mirror. You can’t seriously be considering this… My subconscious sounds sane and rational, not her usual snarky self. My inner goddess is jumping up and down, clapping her hands like a five-year-old. Please, let’s do this… otherwise we’ll end up alone with lots of cats and your classic novels to keep you company.

GEHAYI: Oh, please. No cat worthy of the name would associate with you, Ana.

MERVIN: I love the options: slave or crazy cat lady! Despite several other people expressing interest in her, there will NEVER be anyone but Christian Grey so she has to go with the slave option.

GEHAYI: She does seem to have forgotten about Paul Clayton, doesn’t she? I can understand excluding Creepy José, but she mentioned that boys were interested in her all through high school and that she was just too scared of rejection and failure to respond to their overtures. Not to mention that Kate keeps insisting that she’s hot, too. Clearly, Gaston is not her only choice.

MERVIN: Yes, the only choice she has—FOR THREE MONTHS. Does everyone keep forgetting this point? Because Steffi there sure did. She seems to think that this would be a permanent arrangement. No, Steffi, according to this contract and all evidence so far, once the three months are up, you’re done. So…going by your logic, unless you sign up to be a semen-receptacle for three months—one that will be kicked and beaten, no less—you’ll be a crazy cat lady.

GEHAYI: Oh, and then she decides that she must come across as submissive because she lets Kate bully her.

Am I submissive? Maybe I come across that way. Maybe I misled him in the interview. I’m shy, yes… but submissive? I let Kate bully me – is that the same?

MERVIN: Ana? Take a good look at Ket. Meek and mild does not a submissive make.

GEHAYI: Not to mention that he decided that she was a submissive based on how nervous she was during the interview. KATE WAS NOT THERE. He just jumped to conclusions based on her fear and the fact that he can push her around. Actually, the line is worse than it sounds. Look at it again. She thinks that she “misled” Gaston. She thinks that somehow, this is all her fault.

MERVIN: Also, Ana you don’t understand what the term “submissive” MEANS. It’s not, “Am I submissive?” It is, “DO I ENJOY BEING SUBMISSIVE?” Do you enjoy being dominated and punished and tied up and subjugated? Considering how often she questions Grey and grouses when he is bossy and domineering? SHE. DOESN’T. ENJOY IT.

GEHAYI: And honestly, how hard is it to look up the word “submissive” IN THE FUCKING DICTIONARY?! If she doesn’t know what it means, she should look it up! But this never occurs to her. I think she deserves a triple count. She hates his bossiness, she knows she doesn’t understand, and she disregards both in favor of pointless angsting about an extremely solvable problem!

BELLADONNA POISONING: 109

Then she starts imitating Scarlett O’Hara. Not even kidding.

Tomorrow… tomorrow is another day.


MERVIN: *throws dirt in her face* TRY THAT ON FOR SIZE, MISS SCAHLETT.

GEHAYI: And then Ana says that she wishes she’d never met Gaston.

Oh, I wish I’d never met him. My inner goddess shakes her head at me. She and I know it’s a lie. I have never felt as alive as I do now.

SIN THINE ASS OFF: 3

MERVIN: Steffi, all you’re thinking about is the sex you just had. You know absolutely nothing about being whipped or humiliated or beaten. You DON’T know if you like it.

GEHAYI: And Ana considers what he does depraved, but she’s perfectly willing to trade the sex that disturbs her for a three-month guarantee on a fake relationship. Any way that you look at it, this is bad.

MERVIN: A fake relationship that nobody is allowed to know about. So she’s not even getting the benefit of TELLING everybody she has a date with Bruce Wayne.


GEHAYI: And that “date” solely consists of fucking. I mean, they aren’t going to do anything else. She’s just going to be in his apartment three days out of every seven.

MERVIN: Not only that, but there is absolutely no guarantee she’s gonna get any of the sex she had on their first night there. In fact, the implication is that it’s not gonna happen again.

GEHAYI: Hell, he told her flat out that he’d never had vanilla sex before but that he prefers his variety. Ana is just cheerfully ignoring that particular fact.

BELLADONNA POISONING: 110

MERVIN: Yes, Steffi the Sex Goddess does not want anyone to cloud this issue with facts or things like that. She just wants to know when she can next ride the Power of Greycock.

GEHAYI: And just to finish this section up, we have something that I know you love, Mervin. A symbolic dream.

MERVIN:

I close my eyes, and I drift into a heavy sleep with occasional dreams of four-poster beds and shackles and intense gray eyes.

SYMBOLIC DREAMS: 3

MERVIN: For fuck’s sake. All you’re dreaming about is being tied up. That’s all you think it involves. Unsurprising, because that’s all a lot of people ignorant to the Lifestyle think it involves. Ana here, however, does not have that excuse. DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT READ THE SLAVE CONTRACT? DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT SEE THE DUNGEON HE HAS? He wants to subjugate you, humiliate you, RAPE YOU, beat you, fist you, sodomize you, and torture you. All the stuff in the contract he was asking you about? THAT MEANS HE WANTS TO DO IT. He doesn’t just want to tie you up and deny your orgasms!

GEHAYI: And if that doesn’t do it for you, Ana, how about the fact that he gets irrationally jealous about you even talking to your friends, that he threatened you when you wouldn’t eat enough to suit him, that you’re scared of him most of the time and that he told you that HE WOULD RAPE YOU PUBLICLY AS A PUNISHMENT?

MERVIN: The fact that he says, “Hell no, you can’t rule out anal ‘cause I dig it,” later on proves that he has PLANS to hurt you against your will.

GEHAYI: It’s not as if she can pretend that he’s nice or gentle. He’s not. He’s a horrible person whom she finds scary, intimidating and threatening. She’s even flinched a couple of time when he’s spoken.


The more we dig into it, the more stupid we find.

BELLADONNA POISONING: 120

MERVIN: But it’s not just stupid characters. I’m pinning a whole lot of the stupid on James. Clearly, this was supposed to be the story of Grey awakening the BDSM submissive in Ana. Except it’s not. She doesn’t like it. SHE DOESN’T. She finds the concepts horrifying. Grey scares her and intimidates her AND SHE DOESN’T LIKE THAT. A submissive enjoys being dominated. A slave enjoys being ruled by the master. Ana? Calls him bossy and bows up and scowls and hates it when he gives her orders. So how is he awakening the submissive within?

He isn’t. What he’s doing is BREAKING HER.

This is Christian Grey’s easy 10-step program to taking a naïve girl and breaking her down and manipulating and twisting her into a co-dependent and needy girl who thinks that he’s the only one who can give her pleasure. Her confusion that she could be horny and wet when Christian Grey wasn’t present is telling enough. The idea that a girl doesn’t understand that you don’t have to have the guy present and have him actively titillating you to get off and become aroused just—dude, I already ranted about it. It’s just a horrible reminder, that’s all it is.

And on that note, Gehayi, I vote we break. I know this was kind of a short section, but it had a lot of ranting and was very, VERY serious business. I think everybody needs a break. I certainly do. I want cookies.

GEHAYI: As do I. See you later.



Chapter 10 (Part II) | Table of Contents | Chapter 11 (Part II)

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From:sashocirrione
Date:August 27th, 2012 08:15 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Recently I found another sporking:

http://jenniferarmintrout.blogspot.com/p/jen-reads-50-shades-of-grey.html?zx=a6d62a1584f04ab5

Maybe it should be added to the das_sporking links?
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From:lian_hua
Date:August 27th, 2012 08:28 pm (UTC)
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With reality googles on, this reads like a horror story. It gives me the chills because one, it is unintentional and two, it reflects distorted, rose-colored images of mentalities that are present in today's society. Like Mervin said, people like this really exist, terrible predators and pitiful prey and most readers don't care to dig below the surface level where the horror lies. At least this is how I explain the success of the book. (Don't prove me wrong, this thought keeps me together.)

I don't know how you brave souls manage sporking it and not getting nightmares. I tip my spork to you.
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From:gehayi
Date:August 28th, 2012 02:39 am (UTC)
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ike Mervin said, people like this really exist, terrible predators and pitiful prey and most readers don't care to dig below the surface level where the horror lies.

And honestly, the three of us aren't even digging that deep. We're reading this in real time. Our appalled reactions are very real.

I don't know how you brave souls manage sporking it and not getting nightmares.

I can't speak for Merv or Ket, but...I've had a few since starting this. That's not going to stop me, though. These books need to be eviscerated, and they WILL be.
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From:mirandagaara
Date:August 27th, 2012 08:39 pm (UTC)
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Ugh. It just gets worse and worse. I want to sic Typhoid Mary in her Bloody Mary persona on to Gaston.

http://marvel.com/universe/Typhoid_Mary

Thinking about Bloody Mary tearing Gaston to shreds makes me feel warm and happy inside.
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From:gehayi
Date:August 28th, 2012 02:40 am (UTC)
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Oh, that's all kinds of awesome! Lady Macbeth (in my icon) approves!
From:(Anonymous)
Date:August 27th, 2012 08:49 pm (UTC)
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I can't help but feel that Ana's apparent belief that her choices are A: sex slave, or B: cat-lady, could have made more sense if she had been written competently.

If she was written as a character who had very low self-esteem, who had never had a relationship before due to social awkwardness, or being honestly plain (not 'woe is me, my glossy brown hair and flawless skin are soooooo unappealing'). It might then be more understandable that she would be so taken with Gaston, the first man to show her attention, and scared that he might be the only man who would ever want her.

But of course, then it would be all too obvious that Gaston was taking advantage of her. So instead we have Ana the super-Sue, desired by all who see her.

Also, 'tomorrow is another day'? NO, EL James! You do NOT get to quote Gone With the Wind! An act of divine providence couldn't make you one tenth of the writer Margaret Mitchell was!
(Sorry, but I like GWTW, and seeing it mentioned in this dreck hurts me)
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From:otakukeith
Date:August 27th, 2012 08:54 pm (UTC)
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Wasn't it established that she had had attention from lots of men before, though? It seems like he's less the only man who'll ever want her so much as he's happy to overlook her flailing social awkwardness because it makes her a perfect target. (Non-crazy men who like shy, awkward girls don't exist, of course. That's why Fluttershy is one of the most popular characters in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic*, and moé is an entire subculture.)

*I cannot believe I just mentioned that in connection with 50 Shades. I feel unclean, and possibly in imminent danger of being sent TO THE MOOOOOOON.
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From:otakukeith
Date:August 27th, 2012 08:50 pm (UTC)
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I feel kind of bad posting random snarky comments/spitefic about this, given how it obviously resonates with y'all, but...heck, laughing at evil works wonders. Kudos on sticking it out with all the bad memories; I'm glad you decided to tackle this sporking, because the surrounding discussion has been very interesting as well as fun/cathartic. Anyway, that's enough srs bsns from me.

The whole business with the badly-implemented slave contract is too awful to say much about, except that, as I mentioned before, it sounds awfully similar to the modus operandi of the perpetrator in a horrific kidnapping case from some years back.

Clearly, this was supposed to be the story of Grey awakening the BDSM submissive in Ana. Except it’s not. She doesn’t like it.

James seems oddly indecisive about whether the book is a "good girl learns to be bad and loves it" romance or a "bad boy is redeemed by saintly woman" romance. (For example, in the chapters we've gone through, Grey is all "OMG you are special what are these feels?", but he's sticking to his modus operandi of treating his wenches like serfs. Denial, indecision, or bad writing? You decide.) I guess she'd probably argue it's somewhere between the two, but it seems to fail at both. I was very surprised to learn from Wikipedia that Ana actually dumps Grey at the end of the first book...but I assume she goes back to him in the second, so any lesson probably gets lost.

Sure you don’t want to sleep with Kate because she’s cuddly, Ana?

Aaaaand that's the perfect cue for me to post the first part of Fifty Shades of Gay!

Fifty Shades of Gay

Prologue: Unexpected Kate Is Unexpected


"I think the lady said no," a voice in the dark says quietly. Holy shit! Christian Grey, he's here. How?

I never get the chance to find out, because before I can think about anything beyond my roiling stomach, a fourth person puts their arm gently around my shoulders and guides me away.

"C'mon, Ana." It's Kate. "I've got this. Get him away from here."

"No problem." Grey has a grip on José's shoulder that looks like it hurts. "José and I are going to have a little...chat."

I try to ignore the burning shame at being seen by him in this state, and concentrate on not throwing up until Kate's helped me into the ladies' room.

Part 1: No Way, José

"Amigo, that wasn't what it looked like-"

"Save it." Christian Grey shoved José against the concrete wall with savage force. "I know exactly what it was. You were trying to prove what a big strong virile man you were, and Ana was the handiest target. You thought forcing yourself on a woman would make you believe what you know to be a lie. But I could see the disgust in your eyes."

"Bullshit! I don't know what you're-"

"I know the signs all too well, José. You don't like women that way." Grey cursed himself for giving away too much. But the other man's insolent glare and stubborn mouth, set in that swarthy face, were awakening memories he had tried to bury all his adult life. The memories of the pictures and fantasies he had hidden as a teenager, of men with dark-skinned, chiselled bodies and dangerous smiles...until his mother had found out and set Leila on him. Memories he could never suppress no matter how many beautiful women he surrounded himself with or took out his frustrations on.

"Cabrón! I kill you!" Christian caught José's flailing fist in an iron grip and bared his teeth with a snarl.

"Stop lying to yourself, José!" Without thinking, he captured the other man's lips with his own and pressed his body close against the wall. José stiffened beneath him with a shocked grunt, then unexpectedly relaxed as the kiss deepened. Their tongues came together in a sensual ballet, until at last they broke apart, gasping for air and staring at each other with new eyes.

"Por favor, Mr. Grey. My father, he-"

"Ssh." Grey covered José's mouth tenderly. "I understand. Now, I think you need to sleep things off a bit, and then we have some more things to discuss, don't we?"

"...si, Mr. Grey."

To be continued in Part 2: Girls' Night In

(Well, that was a weird way to write m/m for the first time. I recommend imagining all José's lines as being spoken by Manuel from Fawlty Towers.)
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From:mirandagaara
Date:August 27th, 2012 10:08 pm (UTC)
(Link)
The whole business with the badly-implemented slave contract is too awful to say much about, except that, as I mentioned before, it sounds awfully similar to the modus operandi of the perpetrator in a horrific kidnapping case from some years back.

That's it, I'm going to start thinking of Gaston as being Cameron Hooker now. -.-

I read "The Girl In The Box" book and it was one of the most disturbing books I've ever read; and yes, there IS a slave contract within, a disturbing sex offender and violence and rape against a helpless victim. *slaps James* Bitch! This is not sexy! *raeg face*
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From:chibi_regalli
Date:August 27th, 2012 08:55 pm (UTC)
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Aaaand this just continues to be horrifying. How hard is it to write a love interest who DOESN'T ACT LIKE A SERIAL KILLER?! There's jerk with a heart of gold and then there's THIS!
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From:ranguvar42
Date:August 27th, 2012 09:11 pm (UTC)
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I'm currently in the middle of getting pounded by Isaac, so I'm already in a growly mood, and this chapter just adds fuel to the fire. (nothing against Mervin, Ket, and Gehayi, they're doing wonderfully and I want to give them cake and chocolate.)

This is just horrifying. Grey is the textbook example of a sociopathic villain, and yet millions of women see him as the 'ideal' man. Newsflash-good looks don't always equal good guy. Hell, Lucifer was supposed to be one of the most beautiful angels in Heaven!
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From:detritius
Date:August 27th, 2012 09:37 pm (UTC)
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I think, with the climate in YA right now, someone could totally write a story about a young, hot, rich Lucifer, and throngs of fans would defend his actions and say he wasn't really that bad. I mean, sure, it would upset Christian groups, but that would just attract publicity. (And halfway through writing this comment, it went from a cynical rant to a get-rich-quick idea. Hmm...)
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From:wolfy_writing
Date:August 27th, 2012 09:22 pm (UTC)
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The more I read this, the more I'm coming to despise the Inner Goddess. (And everyone else in the story, obviously.) Aren't goddesses suppposed to be powerful? Wouldn't the Inner Goddess be the part of Ana telling her to use her power, seize control, and go for what she wants? (As tediously cliche as that is, I think it would actually improve this story.)

Instead, we get Steffi going "ZOMG a guy likes you! You must cling to him and do whatever you want, without thinking of your own well-being, or you'll end up a cat lady! CAT LADY!" That's straight-up cowardice and insecurity.

(Also, I can think of far worse fates than living to a ripe old age with books and cats, such as being the slave of an abusive rapist.)
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From:ldegnan
Date:August 28th, 2012 12:39 am (UTC)
(Link)
I'm right there with you. Especially since I've seen the whole trope done well before. Albeit in a crack comedy where said 'Inner Goddess' was so out of control that she once took over the body of the person who she was sharing a meat suit with and forced them to buy half a stores worth of bordello lingerie. The biggest difference being that it was played straight for laughs in the other story, and the unfortunate heroine who shared a body with said inner voice actively fought against it's influence. Here it does seem like James was trying to go for some amount of comedy, but it just falls so flat that it ends up being annoying.

Anyways speaking of said story, Skeep!

Skeep: Hey lady! *shuffles around in a pair of grubby pink stilettos before firing off a jaunty wave in the wrong direction*

See this man over here? *point to Mr. Grey* He just told me he absolutely loves Rosalinda. Shocking I know!

Skeep: *lets out a shocked wail* Never Rosalinda!

Quite. He also claimed a hatred for females who show any amount of strength or growth throughout their literary journey that doesn't directly benefit him. You know what do Skeep.

Skeep: *leaps towards Mr. Grey with his freshly buffed fork* KIDNEYS!


... Sorry. The freezer alligator made me do it.

*The bordello snatching inner voice, Skeep, and the Freezer Alligator belong to Lixxle, and her story 'My Fine Feathered Friend' on FF.net. I highly recommend it if you're in the mood for crack.

Edited at 2012-08-28 12:40 am (UTC)
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From:lilypeters
Date:August 27th, 2012 09:45 pm (UTC)
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and your classic novels to keep you company.

I will take that over this Grey asshole any day. This is kind of why guys intimidate an honestly shy person like me most of the time: I get afraid they'll take advantage of me. Ana could learn a thing or two from Claire Clairmont; she went on to become a governess after Byron dumped her. And she was Mary Shelley's stepsister and we all know Mary Shelley was a badass. I think Shelley's point in Frankenstein was that Victor judged the Creature based solely on his looks, kind of like Ana's doing.

~Lily~
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From:gehayi
Date:August 28th, 2012 04:17 am (UTC)
(Link)
Mary Shelley was an awesome badass. So was Mary Wollstonecraft, her mother. The women from that family should have founded a League of Extraordinary Ladies.

I think Shelley's point in Frankenstein was that Victor judged the Creature based solely on his looks, kind of like Ana's doing.

I do, too. And that rejection convinces the Creature that he himself is a monster.

I wrote an alternate ending to Frankenstein for Yuletide 2010, if you'd care to see it. (I wanted the Creature to have a chance at being more than a monster.)

Sweeping Ashes Into the Sea (Robert Walton, The Creature)

Sometimes the most powerful weapon is a glimmer of hope.
From:thelovelymissa
Date:August 27th, 2012 10:03 pm (UTC)
(Link)
How is this three (long) books? Is there any semblense of plot whatsoever? All I am getting is the pattern of creepy moments, porn, and boring stillness. I've never dated a guy-and I highly doubt that will change anytime soon, and I can tell this is not okay.

My hat's off to you three. I couldn't get through this slop.
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From:erikalyndis
Date:August 27th, 2012 10:13 pm (UTC)
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From:mirandagaara
Date:August 27th, 2012 10:52 pm (UTC)
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Well, Rosemary thought that Fred West was the perfect man... says a lot, doesn't it? -.- Seriously, Gaston would shit his pants if he ever met either of them.
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From:insanepurin
Date:August 27th, 2012 11:16 pm (UTC)
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Oh, yeah, and sorry about the rust and stuff. I hate modern equipment—it’s all so sterile and impersonal. This stuff has character! The Romans sure knew how to make it, didn’t they?

Buwahahaha! Not to mention they hold up after all those years. ;D

otherwise we’ll end up alone with lots of cats and your classic novels to keep you company.

I'd much rather be alone with cats and classic novels than end up with Christian Grey. I may be a crazy cat lady, but at least I'm not being abused. Hell, Bastard Boyfriends show up in so much fiction that the Japanese have a term for it: "kichiku", literally meaning "brutal" or "demonic."

I probably should've brought this up last chapter, but I learned something disturbing from the 50 Shades YMMV TV Tropes page: "Author Avatar: Not necessarily Ana. Mrs. Robinson's initials are E.L."

In short, James shares her initials with a child molester. 'Cause everyone dreams of raping healing the one they love while they're still a teenager, right?
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From:dioschorium
Date:August 27th, 2012 11:19 pm (UTC)
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Why is the thought of becoming a cat lady supposed to be threatening? There are far, far worse paths to take in life.

Regarding that incriminating YMMV entry, perhaps James didn't want to confine her projection to just one character—she had to have two.
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From:dioschorium
Date:August 27th, 2012 11:17 pm (UTC)
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You mentioned that Gaston reminded you of your ex-boyfriends, and I'd like to add that he reminds me of my father. He wasn't sexually abusive, but he broke my mother and is now trying to break his offspring. (I'm in the process of gathering materials to get out of his house and live with friends in another state.)

And what is Scarlett O'Hara doing in this festering pile of donkey crap? Scarlett O'Hara would have kicked Christian Grey's ass, to say nothing of Ana's.
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From:gehayi
Date:August 28th, 2012 04:34 am (UTC)
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I'd like to add that he reminds me of my father. He wasn't sexually abusive, but he broke my mother and is now trying to break his offspring. (I'm in the process of gathering materials to get out of his house and live with friends in another state.)

Good luck to you. I hope that you get away from him VERY soon.

And what is Scarlett O'Hara doing in this festering pile of donkey crap? Scarlett O'Hara would have kicked Christian Grey's ass, to say nothing of Ana's.

She's been tossed in here to give the readers who are familiar with Scarlett an association that they can like.That's it. She is here to convince the non-readers who like this that by quoting Scarlett O'Hara, Ana is LIKE Scarlett O'Hara in every possible way.

It's crappy reasoning, but some people are undoubtedly buying the suggestion.
From:missy_raya
Date:August 27th, 2012 11:31 pm (UTC)

Hahaha

(Link)
MERVIN: Hey, Gaston. I know you said you don’t do medical scenes, but you, me, and all this medical equipment got a date. You know you’ll like it!

Mervin... You scare me.
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From:idiotalchemist
Date:August 28th, 2012 12:23 am (UTC)
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Just when I thought this guy couldn't get ANY worse.

Seriously, he's down there with Palpatine, Johann Liebert, and Red Skull as far as I'm concerned.
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From:gehayi
Date:August 28th, 2012 12:03 pm (UTC)
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Seriously, he's down there with Palpatine, Johann Liebert, and Red Skull as far as I'm concerned.

He truly is. And do you know what's frightening? Gaston has not yet BEGUN to sink to the depths.

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From:amamelina
Date:August 28th, 2012 01:44 am (UTC)
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I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but Grey reminds me of John Robbinson. He was a serial killer who was the first one to use the internet to find victims. His favorite victims were on bondage sites and he labled himself SlaveMaster. He would find girls like Ana who didn't know better and get them to travel to his house. Once there, he got them to sign papers and a slave contract (probably the same template that James is using in the book). He'd then kill the girls and use the papers they signed to send letters to their family to convince them that the girls were still alive.

Also, if any guy told me that since he likes anal, I'm going to like it despite my telling him hell no, he'd lose his balls.
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From:gehayi
Date:August 28th, 2012 05:19 pm (UTC)
(Link)
He was a serial killer who was the first one to use the internet to find victims. His favorite victims were on bondage sites and he labled himself SlaveMaster. He would find girls like Ana who didn't know better and get them to travel to his house. Once there, he got them to sign papers and a slave contract (probably the same template that James is using in the book). He'd then kill the girls and use the papers they signed to send letters to their family to convince them that the girls were still alive.

Thank you! I'd forgotten about him. Crime Library has a long article on Robinson.

John Robinson--First Internet Serial Killer

And here's a similar case that just broke recently:

Illinois Man Accused of Keeping Teen as Sex Slave For Three Years

Also, if any guy told me that since he likes anal, I'm going to like it despite my telling him hell no, he'd lose his balls.

I like that plan. That's a good plan.
[User Picture]
From:aikaterini
Date:August 28th, 2012 02:01 am (UTC)
(Link)
/And just looking at this thing and researching BDSM slaves on Wikipedia—Wiki says even slaves, despite giving up all rights, can end the relationship at any time./

So, then BDSM “slaves” aren’t really slaves in the usual sense of the word because they willingly enter into the relationship and can free themselves from the arrangement whenever they want. Is that the one right that they do have? Whereas Submissives can terminate the game any time they want *and* have control of their lives outside of the bedroom. Is that the difference between the two?

/She said no, he refused to accept it. That is the opposite of consensual./

Yeah, throwing a tantrum when Ana says that she doesn’t want to do something is *not* “acknowledging that all that occurs under this contract will be consensual,” Christian Bateman. This arrangement is doomed from the beginning not just because Ana is incapable of understanding the terms of the contract, but also because Christian is incapable of following the terms of his own contract.

/GEHAYI: TO USE HER BODY SEXUALLY IN ANY WAY. So, that would include rape, right? Which he’s already threatened her with?/

Dear Lord…and this is supposed to be sexy? *hides under the bed*

/MERVIN: Nope. Birth control shouldn’t be HIS problem./

So, James is pushing the old, sexist canard of the *woman* being solely responsible for getting pregnant? Does she want her male lead to look like an irresponsible, lazy, and selfish tool who can’t be bothered to use protection himself if he’s so darned concerned about accidental pregnancies?

/MERVIN: That’s because she’s an idiot./

And so Christian can be “justified” in taking things too far. “Oh, it’s okay! Ana didn’t remember to say the safe-word, so how was he supposed to know that she didn’t want to do it?”

/MERVIN: I love the options: slave or crazy cat lady!/

It always has to be dichotomies with women, doesn’t it? Maiden/Crone, Virgin/Prostitute, etc.

Oh, and I hate Ana’s “inner goddess.” She’s starting to remind me of Alice now.

“Oh, Bella, won’t you *please* let me kidnap you? Don’t be such a stick-in-the-mud; it’s all in good fun!”

“Oh, Ana, won’t you *please* agree to be Christian Grey’s punching bag? You don’t want to live alone for the rest of your life, do you?”

/MERVIN: Steffi, all you’re thinking about is the sex you just had. You know absolutely nothing about being whipped or humiliated or beaten. You DON’T know if you like it./

Thus, Steffi is an idiot.

/GEHAYI: And Ana considers what he does depraved, but she’s perfectly willing to trade the sex that disturbs her for a three-month guarantee on a fake relationship. Any way that you look at it, this is bad./

And sad. Is she really this desperate and shallow?
[User Picture]
From:gehayi
Date:August 28th, 2012 12:43 pm (UTC)

Part 1

(Link)
So, then BDSM “slaves” aren’t really slaves in the usual sense of the word because they willingly enter into the relationship and can free themselves from the arrangement whenever they want. Is that the one right that they do have? Whereas Submissives can terminate the game any time they want *and* have control of their lives outside of the bedroom. Is that the difference between the two?

Um...well, a slave doesn't have to be in a relationship with a master. A person could just be a slave for a few minutes or an hour or however long it takes to play the scene. But if you're talking about slaves in relationships vs. subs in relationships, that sounds about right.

Even so, both doms and masters have certain obligations toward the sub or slave. The dom (or master) isn't supposed to disregard a sub's or slave's hard limits--as opposed to Gaston's, "You don't like the idea of this sexual activity? You NEVER want to? Well, I like it, so tough, we're doing it anyway." The dom or master is supposed to take care not to harm a sub or slave, physically or emotionally, and they're supposed to engage in aftercare after the scene is over. Compare that to Gaston harming a woman through suspension play and rushing off five minutes after he's had sex with Ana. And, of course, a sub's or slave's refusal, discomfort or uncertainty are to be respected--as opposed to Gaston's constant attempts to intimidate and manipulate Ana into getting what he wants.

Yeah, throwing a tantrum when Ana says that she doesn’t want to do something is *not* “acknowledging that all that occurs under this contract will be consensual,” Christian Bateman. This arrangement is doomed from the beginning not just because Ana is incapable of understanding the terms of the contract, but also because Christian is incapable of following the terms of his own contract.

Yeah, it's pretty clear that a) he expects her to sign automatically, b) he doesn't expect her to understand the contract, and c) he does NOT want her to argue any of the contract's clauses. It reminds me of a stanza from a Victorian poem by William Allen Butler, "Nothing to Wear":

..."the bargain must be
That, as long as I choose, I am perfectly free —
For this is a kind of engagement, you see,
Which is binding on you, but not binding on me."


Dear Lord…and this is supposed to be sexy? *hides under the bed*

Apparently. Though God knows WHY.



Edited at 2012-08-28 12:43 pm (UTC)
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From:albion_witch
Date:August 28th, 2012 02:26 am (UTC)
(Link)
Please, let’s do this… otherwise we’ll end up alone with lots of cats and your classic novels to keep you company.

Given the choice, I'd pick my cats Harley and Pan over Christian Grey, 'cause I know that they will never rape me.
From:(Anonymous)
Date:August 28th, 2012 02:27 am (UTC)
(Link)
OK, now I've finished wanting to throw up...

First up: hugs (if you want) to Mervin, Gehayi, and Ket.

Secondly: If I ever meet E.L.James, I am going to yell at her. The phrase "do your damn research" will be repeated. And my god I hope it's in public.

Thirdly: One of my mum's friends is into these books. :( I anticipate 'lively' debate.
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From:reniefuwa
Date:August 28th, 2012 02:59 am (UTC)
(Link)
It makes me sad inside that my cousin read these and LIKED them. And then recommended them to her sister and another cousin. What made me even madder was that I couldn't formulate a coherent explanation for why it sucked and that they should stay far away.
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From:gehayi
Date:August 28th, 2012 04:43 am (UTC)
(Link)
Well, for the future, you can quote Katrina Lumsden:

"It's about two attention-starved individuals with the emotional maturity of toilet paper convincing themselves that their relationship is 'like, the best thing ever, OMG'. It's trite, insulting, and dangerous. I fear for any impressionable young women who read this and think that this is how an ideal relationship should operate."
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From:tytaniaherself
Date:August 28th, 2012 05:58 am (UTC)
(Link)
I actually hate both Ana and Christian pretty equally in these scenes. She has decided that she wants a relationship and refuses to listen when she is told in frank language that a relationship is not on the table. Christian tells her that he wants a sex partner for slave scenarios without an emotional connection. She decides that if she agrees to this, she can change his mind. Meanwhile, he wants the sex but offers vague promises of a potential relationship. Both of these people care only for themselves and assume that the rest of the world should change to suit them.

Much like Bella, Ana wants to be rich and have fancy clothes and social status and she is willing to pretend that Christian is not a psycho to get them. Christian wants to screw, beat and degrade someone who looks like his mom and is willing to pretend that he gives a crap about what Ana thinks in order to get that. There is never so much as hint of real affection from either of them at any time.

The BDSM is just window dressing to make the story play well with the ffn audience. Anyone with a Kindle can download better smut than this that's just as mainstream. Exit to Eden got a theatrical release and was sold in supermarkets, after all.
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From:gehayi
Date:August 28th, 2012 04:51 pm (UTC)
(Link)
Both of these people care only for themselves and assume that the rest of the world should change to suit them.

That's about the size of it. They're both awful, selfish people--though Gaston seems worse because he thinks like an adult, whereas Ana is incapable of thinking at all.

There is never so much as hint of real affection from either of them at any time.

And that never changes. No matter how angry Gaston gets, no matter how many kidnapper/stalkers blunder into their lives, Ana always regards sex--not affection--as a constant in their relationship. Which...is really, really unlikely.
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From:miyuko_matsuda
Date:August 28th, 2012 06:12 am (UTC)
(Link)
This chapter is D: incarnate,sporking is good
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From:gehayi
Date:August 28th, 2012 12:00 pm (UTC)
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Thank you! I'm glad that the sporking was good. (In my opinion, the entire BOOK is D: incarnate.)
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From:mibamonster
Date:August 28th, 2012 08:09 am (UTC)
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This was a great sporking of a horrible part. Have either of you read the article that was mentioned in the comments in the last section, where a woman explained why FSoG was about paedophilia because Ana was actually a child with the age of 21 put on her?
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From:gehayi
Date:August 28th, 2012 11:58 am (UTC)
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This was a great sporking of a horrible part.

Thank you!

Have either of you read the article that was mentioned in the comments in the last section, where a woman explained why FSoG was about paedophilia because Ana was actually a child with the age of 21 put on her?

I saw! And I agree. After all, it's pretty much what we've been saying all along--that Ana comes across as not only stupid but, given her alleged age, developmentally disabled. She cannot think or reason, and all of her reactions are decidedly off for an adult. At most she seems eleven or twelve, and a very young eleven or twelve, at that.
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From:afterandalasia
Date:August 28th, 2012 02:30 pm (UTC)
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So, I found a free version to read online (like hell am I giving James more money*) and the contract is just... boring, mostly. Self-contradictory in places, and -- as you said -- it has a lot of terrible just under the surface.

That three month thing caught my attention, though. Christian has had 15 submissives in the last 4 years, all of whom supposedly signed this contract. That means there has been an average of six days between each submissive (he claims to be 'monogamous', after all) signing the contract. As Ana has known him for more than six days, that implies that he simply waited until the last submissive left to fuck her.

Also? None of them renewed the contract. Not one.





*I once read a marvellous insult online: 'I'd call her a cunt, but she lacks the depth or warmth'. Personally, I would be far prefer a good honest set of genitals to this horrorshow.
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From:chibi_regalli
Date:August 28th, 2012 03:45 pm (UTC)
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Charming. Of course, hopefully a few of them caught on and told him to get the hell out of dodge, but who are we kidding? James didn't do the math and/or Gaston's an asshole.
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From:sissyblade
Date:August 28th, 2012 06:07 pm (UTC)
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“Well, I didn’t know that BDSM wasn’t like that, so it’s okay that it’s not accurately portrayed because I don’t know the difference.”

*facepalms*

I'm only 23. And I'm severely scared that I'm seeing and hearing stupidity like this.

Now a part of me wants to write a book that just focuses on how dumb we (in general, obviously) are becoming. If crap like this can get published and make millions, then I and many other aspiring writers have a chance. Hopefully.
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From:frankenspam
Date:August 29th, 2012 03:49 pm (UTC)
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Honestly, if this is the shit that's selling, a thoughtful, well-researched, good book might be harder to shop to a publisher. Some might not want to risk losing their more idiotic customers. :/
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