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December 31st, 2012

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09:24 pm - WELCOME TO DAS SPORKING [sticky post]

Welcome one and all to das_sporking! I am your host, das_mervin, and I hope you enjoy your stay at my fabulous little community of sporkers. Here, we have over thirty different sporkers that spork in over forty different fandoms including original fiction, so you have plenty of flavors to choose from. The sporks range from the short and succinct to highly-detailed and long-winded, but above all else, they are all devoted to snarky analysis of the stories they pick apart.

Aren’t sure where to start? Well, come on in—this post has the rules and every single link that might interest you and help you find your way around.

Community Rules

Everything has rules. Some people find that unfortunate; I find it sensible. My comm is no different.

1) The first rule of this sporking comm is the same first rule of any sporking comm, and I’m going to make sure it’s in big letters so everyone gets the point.


I don’t care if the people in question find this on their own by accident. But do NOT link it to the people I spork. It’s bad form, rude, and asking for trouble. It’s called TROLLING, not to mention it gives me grief because then I have to deal with them coming over here and whining about it, or even worse, them sending down their legions of fanbrats to come and tell me I’m a meanie for having an opinion that isn’t the same as theirs.

2) BE POLITE. By that, I mean don’t bring up politics, religion, lifestyles, etc., and start making inflammatory comments about it. I will say that my comm has been remarkably well-behaved thus far with regards to sensitive subjects—no joke, I once witnessed two members have a perfectly civil conversation about abortion, and both were on opposite sides of the fence. I was fully prepared to have to jump in and freeze the thread and tell them to both knock it off, but no, it went fine. So if you absolutely must talk any sensitive subjects, first of all, make sure that they are on-topic. Don’t just bring them up out of nowhere. And secondly, stay civil. Don’t declare anything BAD BAD BAD and start yelling at other people because they don’t share your opinion. I’m all for calm and rational discussions where points are made and people converse reasonably, but the minute arguing starts, I will shut it down. Why the hell would you even come here to talk politics, anyway? That’s what ontd_political is for. You can talk them all day over there. This place is for bad literature and snark.

3) AVOID EXCESSIVE TRASHING OF THE SUETHORS FEATURED HERE. Yes, I know, you can get mad at a Suethor for shredding a canon you love with their Suefic. But there is a limit and you need to know not to cross a line. You can angrily shake your fist and call the occasional name, but when you start threatening people with vivisection in the comments I’m going to have to tell you to stop. Unless it’s Neil. In that case, vivisection is way, way too light—step it up, people.

4) This is my playground. If any Suethor comes over here and gets into a fight with people, I’ll probably stop it should it get super-nasty, but I’m not gonna tell everyone to be nice. You want to come over here to argue your point—they’re gonna argue back. However, I will tell you this: DON’T COME YELL AT ME AT MY PERSONAL JOURNAL. I mean that. You have a complaint? Yell at me in this comm, or even just send me a personal message. You stalk me back to my personal journal and start cluttering up my visible posts, I’ll completely ignore you until you learn to read. I say this because I’ve had that happen before, and it’s extremely annoying. My personal journal is not for your ranting. It’s for MY ranting. You’re not invited.

5) DON’T FEED TROLLS. I’m not talking about Suethors coming over here and get into fights—I’m talking about trolls. You know what they are—people who come here to deliberately start fights or rile everyone. If you see a troll in a post, alert me immediately and I will put a stop to it. Don’t try to fight with them, because the second you reply? They win. Because that’s what they wanted. It doesn’t matter what your reply might be, either—they just want a reply.

Main Sporkings

The big attractions! These are all of the multi-chapter stories that are being sporked on this comm. They are anything over three chapters and can be anything from fanfiction to original fiction to graphic novels.

Asides and One Shots

But not all sporks here are big and extensive—what about the little guys? We have plenty of those, too. We sometimes have fics that are only one to three chapters long and thus don’t really warrant a table of contents, or we have just one shots, or sometimes, Suethors write asides and little additions to their big stories. All of those are listed in order right there, so if you’re in the mood for light reading, just go check those out.

Sporker Sign-Ups

Back in 2011, I opened up the community to other sporkers other than myself. Are you, perhaps, interested in becoming a Das Sporker? Then get thee to the Sign-Up Page! All of the rules and requirements are there, and if you hate bad writing and love analysis and have a good sense of humor, I’m sure we’d love to have you!

Das Mervin’s FAQ

I’m the god mod, so I get a lot of questions. Before you ask me one yourself, chances are I have actually already answered it there. So definitely give it a read before you want to ask something—or you can give it a read if you just want to know more about me for some weird reason. If your question still isn’t answered, go ahead and ask it—but be warned, I sometimes take a little bit to answer them.

The Sporker FAQs

Yes, I get a lot of questions, but the more sporkers join up, the more questions they seem to get, and sometimes, those questions are directed at me. Well, now you don’t have to—here are the Sporker FAQs! Sporkers that are interested in fielding any questions you have will have made a thread for themselves and you can ask it there.

The Spork Suggestion Box

One of the questions on my FAQ—the one I probably get the most—is, “Will you spork this fic or book? I think you should!” Unfortunately, my answer there is the same here—I’m sorry, but no. I have too much on my plate as it is. However, we have how many other sporkers here? I’d hate for the story to go unnoticed and miss its chance to be featured here, especially if it deserves it. As such, don’t take it to me—take it to the Suggestion Box! There, you can suggest any story you want. The submission format is available there, and anyone can suggest things from anonymice to me. I definitely advise my sporkers to peruse this post first if you are looking for new sporking material, because chances are, you might find something and will already have an audience for you that wants to see it done.

The Chatterbox

You talked, I listened—some of the comm members here expressed an interest in a place where they could just talk—well, here it is! Welcome to the Chatterbox! It’s kept here at das_sporking so you don’t have to go join another comm or something. With these posts, you don’t have to keep your discussion limited to a chapter or part of a story in a sporking—here, you can just talk with the other comm members and get to know them. It doesn’t always have to be about badfic and bad writing! Right now, the list of topics is short, but if the Chatterbox proves popular, perhaps the list shall soon expand.

The Twilight Series
Leah Clearwater
The Fifty Shades Trilogy
The Fifty Shades of Grey Movies
Das Sporking

(2 comments | Leave a comment)


(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:April 8th, 2014 01:34 pm (UTC)
I believe you meant for this comment to go on the latest chapter of Fifty Shades, not here. I'm giving you a little time to C&P it, but then I am going to delete it.
[User Picture]
Date:April 8th, 2014 07:15 pm (UTC)
I wondered where my comment went! I'll c/p into the right place and delete this right now. Thanks for the alert.

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