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January 10th, 2013

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02:36 am - THE CHATTERBOX: Film
The Chatterbox: Movies

It’s movie night at Das Sporking! Come in here and tell us all about what movies you like to watch best with popcorn, a box of tissues, or your favorite booze for a drinking game.

(52 comments | Leave a comment)


[User Picture]
Date:January 10th, 2013 09:22 pm (UTC)

Best Bad Movie You've Ever Seen?

I'm sure that we've all seen some really well done movies, and we all have our reasons for loving them, but what about those movies that are so cheesy/stupid/over the top in execution that we can't help but love them? There's something about a good B movie, don't you agree?

My top 5 List(in no real order)

1. Empire of the Ants. H.G. Wells' novella about army ants in Brazil attacking a camp is turned into a schlocky 50s sci fi starring Joan Collins as a developer trying to sell land in Florida whose group is attacked by poorly rendered shadows/fiberglass heads of ants that have been made gigantic and radioactive due to Silver Surfer's sperm. (I swear, that's what it looks like) Filmed in my hometown and features a scene where the ants have taken over a sugar refinery and are using pheremones to brainwash the populace.

2. Night of the Lepus Giant. Killer. Bunnies.

3. Moonraker Actually, the majority of the Moore Bonds could be included, but this one is just so over the top ridiculous that it becomes awesome.

4. Killer Klowns From Outer Space Err...just what it sounds like.

5. Batman the Movie
Date:January 10th, 2013 09:51 pm (UTC)

Re: Best Bad Movie You've Ever Seen?

Batman and Robin. It must be seen to be believed. I weep for George Clooney in that movie, I really do.
The worst part is, I can see Clooney making a decent Batman in any other movie. Just this one.... ugh.
[User Picture]
Date:January 10th, 2013 11:55 pm (UTC)

Re: Best Bad Movie You've Ever Seen?

EMPIRE OF THE ANTS. I love that movie SO FRIGGIN' MUCH. It is so stupid and schlocky!

As for other bad movies I dig, Stonehenge Apocalypse (natch), Pythons, Arachnid (OH, ARACHNID)--really, any SyFy original Creature-Feature is for me--I have a very odd soft spot for the American Godzilla remake (yes, I know--THAT one, but I saw it when I was young and it just amused me for some reason), and, as everyone knows, the first Twilight movie.

But I just adore bad movies in general. OH--Dragon Wars!
[User Picture]
Date:January 11th, 2013 12:14 am (UTC)

Re: Best Bad Movie You've Ever Seen?

The Santa Claus Conquers the Martians MST3K is my favorite Christmas movie ever.
[User Picture]
Date:January 11th, 2013 02:39 am (UTC)

Re: Best Bad Movie You've Ever Seen?

When I'm in the mood for something outrageous, I'd turn to Return of the Living Dead, which features my favorite zombie of all time, Tarman.

Lately I've been checking out Stuart Gordon's early work, especially Re-animator, but I guess the shlock closest to my heart would be the bulk of Ray Harryhausen's work. The Sinbad movies and Clash of the Titans were one of my earliest exposure to science fiction and fantasy films outside of Star Wars and Disney. The acting varied from better-than-it-deserved-to-be to so bad it's good and the special effects are kind of dated, but the real stars were the puppets. Ray and his team imbued these creatures of wire and fur with life and personality. You feel bad when they are inevitably slain by their human costars. I guess that's when I began to appreciate practical effects in movies, more so when they work well.
[User Picture]
Date:January 11th, 2013 04:41 am (UTC)

Re: Best Bad Movie You've Ever Seen?

My all-time favorite bad movie is MST3K's take on Jack Frost (a.k.a. Morozko). I've seen it so many times that I say the lines along with Mike and the bots, and I don't care, because this movie and the MST accompanying it make me feel better. I watched it eleven times last January alone, because for a while I didn't have any heat and I needed something to smile about.

Other bad movies I love from MST3K/Rifftrax:

The Touch of Satan. The movie that gave Mervin the title for her LJ: "This is where the fish lives."

Nicolas Cage's version of The Wicker Man. I think it qualifies for So Bad It's Glorious territory.

The House on Haunted Hill. Vincent Price as a murderous billionaire trying to kill his fourth wife at a haunted house party.

Reefer Madness. The movie's not that funny when it isn't be riffed, but when it is, it's priceless. (And for sheer over-the-top Pleasantville lunacy, Reefer Madness: the Musical.)

Date:April 17th, 2013 03:15 pm (UTC)

Re: Best Bad Movie You've Ever Seen?

Pirates of the Carribean 3: I love the battle at the end.

[User Picture]
Date:August 23rd, 2013 07:52 am (UTC)

Re: Best Bad Movie You've Ever Seen?


My God. Even Anthony Horowitz hated it!
The film was so inaccurate and so stupid. They changed Herod Sayle's name to Darrius Sayle... because apparently Christian symbology isn't obvious enough? Sabine Pleasure turns up early, even though she's there to do NOTHING.
Bill Nighy as Alan Blunt. No. Just no.
Mrs Jones is also apparently black... not that there's anything wrong with that, but it's just odd when I always pictured her as white. Oh and WHY ISN'T SHE EATING PEPPERMINTS?
What was up with the ending? Seriously, they made it way over the top, when EVERYTHING in the book was fine.
Yassen Gregorovich is ginger. And Russian. He's no longer intimidating.
Nadia Vole is played by Violet Beauregard's mother.

One that I enjoyed though? The first Pokemon movie.
That's only the BEST bad one that I've seen though, because, my God, the DIALOGUE. And the voice acting. And how in Mewtwo Returns he's voiced by Dan Green.
Oh, and the moral of the story is: "Pokemon shouldn't fight. Not like this."
[User Picture]
Date:August 27th, 2013 03:23 am (UTC)

Re: Best Bad Movie You've Ever Seen?

There's two that come to mind.

First, Van Helsing.

What's bad: The story is, as one reviewer put it, something a five year-old would come up with. Accents are all over the place. And there's a couple pointless moments.

What's good: Dracula and his brides are delightfully hammy. Monster designs are cool. There are good ideas here and there, as well as a few lines that got a laugh out of me. And Hugh Jackman without his shirt. And sweaty. Need I say more?

Second, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters.

What's bad: Again, accents are all over the place. Gretel is a terrible action heroine. Modern dialogue in a quasi-medieval setting. Jeremy Renner was hardly trying (then again, who could blame him?).

What's good: Witch designs were cool. The story itself had potential. Weapon designs that, while impractical were just too darn cool. And plenty of violence.
[User Picture]
Date:January 11th, 2013 06:29 am (UTC)

Because More People Should See This...

There is a life action movie of Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney!

This movie is awesome and I highly recommend it, especially for anyone who is a fan of the Ace Attorney series. It's directed by Takashi Miike. If you don't know who he is, perhaps you've heard of a different film he's directed. It's called Audition. Yes. Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney was directed by the same guy who made Audition.

The whole thing is a ton of fun. It keeps the anime hair, the flashy outfits, and the insane court trials. In fact, it adds the interesting spin that in the distant future the film is set in (20XX, to be specific), court cases are like going to the movies. People buy tickets to attend. And there are holographic screens to show the evidence on, which Wright sends flying at the prosecution several times (while, of course, screaming "TAKE THAT!")

Personally, there were only two things about it that bugged me. The first was that it didn't quite match up to the games in terms of vibrancy and energy. The scenes tend to be dark, in the lighting sense, and the characters seem to be a tad muted in terms of personality. I think some of that has to do with less time to develop them (to keep the movie a reasonable length, they had to cut down a few things), but still.

The other thing is the way the DL-6 Incident is handled. All I'll say is that the important parts are the same, but the way they happen is a bit different. The changes aren't *bad* per say, but it made it a little more confusing to follow. It wasn't until I saw the movie a second time that I actually understood what was supposed to be happening (though to be fair, that could have just been me ^^; )

All in all though, I think it's one of the best video game movies I've seen yet. Granted the bar isn't too high for that genre, but it's still a good watch.

Trailer (Subbed): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUElpl_jDEY
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:January 12th, 2013 12:37 am (UTC)
Anyone ever seen Trolls 2? *Spoiler Alert* It sucked.

Do you mean "Troll 2", 'cause I own the rifftrax and it's pretty funny. I also saw the documentary "Best Worst Movie" and it was pretty good. It was made by the kid who played Joshua.
[User Picture]
Date:August 23rd, 2013 07:45 am (UTC)
I didn't hate the first Percy Jackson movie. It was just really bad and made even worse by the fact that it was based off of one of my favorite book series. If I had never read the books and just saw the movie I'd probably think "meh, another crappy movie."

Lucky you. I hated that film, it made me so angry! All of the changes were just so pointless (and great. Sea of Monsters. Why is Clarisse attractive? She's a child of ARES?)
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:January 14th, 2013 05:38 am (UTC)

Beautiful Creatures

Does anyone have an opinion on this upcoming movie/book? I'm interested in seeing it (because JEREMY IRONS and EMMA THOMPSON DAMN IT), but- and I will admit I've never read the books, so maybe I'm passing early and uninformed judgment- I get a kind of... Twilight-y vibe from it.

Thoughts (While being mindful of spoilers)?
[User Picture]
Date:January 14th, 2013 03:53 pm (UTC)

Re: Beautiful Creatures

I saw the trailer for it when I went to see "The Hobbit" and I was just groaning (though not as much as when "The Host" trailer reared its head). I've never read the books so I got that same vibe from it.

The "Warm Bodies" trailer at least has an awareness that its premise is goofy, though I feel that "Fido", which also featured a zombie regaining its humanity through the power of love, did it better.
[User Picture]
Date:January 14th, 2013 05:16 pm (UTC)

Re: Beautiful Creatures

My response when I saw the trailer is "That looks like it could be really good, but it probably won't be." (Not that I'm the target audience.)

Poking around some reviews google gave me, it looks like the book is more on the level of the Sookie Stackhouse (True Blood) series than Twilight when it comes to quality. The books are from the guy's point of view, and it sounds like one of the biggest complaints about the book is that it's significantly longer than it needed to be.

So, not gonna run out and buy it, but it certainly sounds better than Twilight. Although honestly, the fact that this is about the girl choosing between light and dark, rather than which tragically beautiful monster she wants to boink is enough to make it sound better than Twilight.
[User Picture]
Date:February 7th, 2013 07:52 pm (UTC)

Re: Beautiful Creatures

I have a friend who has movie review blog that managed to see an advanced screening. The short of it is, he wasn't expecting to enjoy the movie, but he did. Especially the dialog. You can find his review of Beautiful Creatures here:
Date:January 20th, 2013 11:38 am (UTC)
"We were supposed to start shooting ‘Eastern Promises 2′ in October. [But] It’s done… If you don’t like it talk to James Schamus at Focus. It was his decision." - David Cronenberg.

Instead, Focus has decided to take on "Fifty Shades of Grey".

I am going to fucking SCREAM this very minute and I might not STOP SCREAMING.
[User Picture]
Date:April 6th, 2013 05:18 pm (UTC)

Eastern Promises

Noooooooooo!!! I had heard so many great things about the first movie and now they're focusing on Fifty Shades of Bullshit? I think I just died a little inside. :(
[User Picture]
Date:April 7th, 2014 05:41 am (UTC)


Anyone a fan of this franchise? I cannot TELL you how stoked I am for this new remake.

Also, I'm debating on eventually writing a fanfic with one of my original characters, who's in another fanfic I'm writing, as a hero. It's based on GMK and Final Wars. It takes place after the Heisei era ends. There's a prophecy in which Earth will come under attack and four guardians will arise. There'll be a Guardian Kaiju of the land (Anguirus), one of the sky (Mothra), and the most powerful the Kaiju will be the "Dragon of the Ocean" (Godzilla). The last guardian will be the Treasure, the Champion of Humanity, wielding powers vastly beyond those of any other human that's ever lived (my OC). It's sort of like Final Wars (which I HATED) because there's a prophecy about a human with great powers fighting alongside Godzilla, only unlike in FW Jake, the OC from another fanfic, has psychic and physical powers to do battle with the Kaiju directly.

Psions in my universe are strong enough to go up against upper level mutants in the Marvel COMICS, not just the movies. They're essentially reality warpers with command over the building blocks of reality. Jake, by the time he's 18, develops strong enough psychic powers to smash apart mountains and call up devastating natural disasters without breaking a sweat, and that's not even getting into his telepathy and other powers. Jake is actually based on Jean Grey and, like her, will eventually becoming a being capable of eating galaxies and warping reality to his slightest whim, but not in this story. Also, Qi powers exist in this universe, which can be used by anyone, and Qi powers alone can allow a normal person to toss around vans and run at speeds exceeding 2.5 Mach. And that's JUST the Qi powers; with biokinetic and genetic enhancements they can move at massively hypersonic speeds and toss around trains. Jake himself can toss around buildings and can run at nearly massively hypersonic speeds (massively hypersonic is somewhere between 50 Mach an 1% the speed of Mach), and he's only been using Qi powers for two years.

But don't worry, I fully intend to have the Kaiju be just as badass as ever. They're at least somewhat resistant to psychic powers (which is explained as part of the reason why Godzilla was able to so easily overpower Miki Saegusa when she used his telepathy on him) and Mothra has reflexes rivaling those of Jake, and he definitely needs his psychic powers to actually hurt a Kaiju; he's not physically strong enough to hurt one. He's not even the most powerful of the Guardians, either.

Godzilla is actually Junior, who received his father's powers at the end of the Heisei period, and just like how he used to be he's completely benevolent, never once having harmed a human, and in fact has killed other Kaiju in order to defend (Heisei ends in 1995 and the story takes place in 2009). Godzilla, or rather Junior, has only caused destruction whenever malevolent Kaiju entered other cities and thus only caused damage as collateral damage while defending the human race from other Kaiju.

The plot of the story is that aliens will invade using an army of Kaiju, and the Four Guardians arise to fight them, with Jake somehow being transported into their universe. The human-like aliens are using them to conquer Earth, obviously. Their biggest weapon (or so they think) is actually a Kaiju who was genetically crossbred between Ghidorah and Destoroyah. They THINK they're in charge of them, but that's just what Destodorah wants to them to think; in reality it's really Destodorah who's calling the shots, and in he facts starts killing some them off once he's gotten bored of the charade.

Miki is going to be a major character, and the most important human next to Jake. Her psychic powers will have gotten stronger, enough to be able to telekinetically incapacitate some of the aliens and telekinetically block bullets and kill. In fact, she's going to face the alien leader, who also has telekinesis and is physically superhuman, in battle, and she'll kill him by ripping his head off with telekinesis.

Basically, it's like what FW SHOULD have been. The Kaiju are going to get MUCH more screen time in this than they did in FW, partially because Jake is powerful enough to go up against them directly.

Edited at 2014-04-07 05:45 am (UTC)
[User Picture]
Date:May 17th, 2015 04:02 pm (UTC)

OK, Can We Just Talk About How Awesome Mad Max Is?

(Obviously, if you haven't seen it, beware spoilers)

So Mad Max: Fury Road was probably one of the best movies I have seen in a long, long time. Not only did it have some kick ass action scenes(the drummers and the Guitar Guy were just awesome) and a worthy Max in Tom Hardy but it also has some amazingly strong women that could collectively kick the asses of every single douchemale character this Comm has sporked.

Furiosa is one of the best characters I've ever seen. She's strong, tough, and never once becomes a Distressed Damsel. Max and her are equals in every way(except she's sane, while Max is...not at all.)

And man, poor Max. As much as I like Mad Max and Road Warrior(not big on Thunderdome) Mel's Max was more "quirky" mad. Hardy's Max, though...damn, dude's got some SERIOUS PTSD. And it's not at all played for laughs. He is seriously fucked in the head.


So yeah, Fury Road kicks ass.
[User Picture]
Date:July 30th, 2015 02:53 pm (UTC)

John Green movie bonanza!

Is anyone planning on seeing Paper Towns? Most of the reviews I've seen give it a solid "meh". The negative ones don't outright hate it and the positive ones don't outright love it. It seems like That Fault in Our Stars was much more polarizing, which makes sense to me.

I don't have any real desire to see PT, but the trailers looked good, production-wise. The actress that plays Margo is much different than I imagined (in a good way).

AND NOW, there's traction on the adaptation of Looking for Alaska (aka Paper Towns with a slightly smaller sledgehammer of symbology). Green's really having a good ride. I might actually see LfA???
[User Picture]
Date:August 13th, 2015 09:07 pm (UTC)

Re: John Green movie bonanza!

Not really. The PT trailers they showed didn't quite show a good plot, so I'll just sit out.
[User Picture]
Date:October 28th, 2015 12:59 am (UTC)

Jem and the Holograms (2015)

By now folks probably know Jem totally BOMBED big-time and I'm trying to work out why. I don't have a lot of expendable income for movies so I rely on word-of-mouth from friends and social media to determine what deserves my limited entertainment pennies. In one corner my friend who loves the old series has gotten incredibly defensive over the film, falling back on "don't complain if you didn't watch" and making some frankly gross comments over Jem and Rio's relationship ("Rio actually helps them and is there a lot and the kiss at end feels earned" - EWWW, NO ONE SHOULD HAVE TO "EARN" A KISS). Suffice it to say friend is a dude who talks right past me when I point out things I've learned from online reviews: Rio is put in charge of the band, names the band, and is even given control of their record label, undermining the source material's story of women empowering themselves. There's also a disconnect involving where early on fans were asked to make videos discussing how Jem gave them "courage to be themselves" that were spliced into the film, but they were talking about the vintage character, not the current one, and knowing that makes it come off as kinda sketchy of the studio.

I hear the acting is overall good, but the story and direction (primarily written by men while creator Christy Marx was not consulted) sound like poop. Did anyone see this? Is it worth even a couple bucks at the second-run theater?

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