Alternate Title: The Lord of the Rings…in Less than 29 Pages!
Our first LotR Sue, and boy is she a doozy!! The fic is nothing more than a short and choppy recap of the movie (as the author assumes that you’ve seen it and wants to give you a few time and location pointers) interspersed with asides from her character wangsting about this and that, or warping several—no, wait—all of the canon characters horribly out of character. Thrill as this Sue bowls over EVERY SINGLE “HOT” MALE IN THE LOTR UNIVERSE. Meaning she’s a ho. Grimace as Aragorn puts his grubby paws all over the Sue at the most inopportune moments he can find. Laugh as Mervin and Mrs. Hyde become violently enraged when this slut tries to get in the pants of the Brothers Gondor. And gag at all the horrible phallic imagery in this story. Golden bow, indeed!