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July 3rd, 2009

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06:01 pm - Caradien's Story - Table of Contents
Caradien’s Story

By okeydokeypoky

Alternate Title: The Lord of the Rings…in Less than 29 Pages!

Our first LotR Sue, and boy is she a doozy!! The fic is nothing more than a short and choppy recap of the movie (as the author assumes that you’ve seen it and wants to give you a few time and location pointers) interspersed with asides from her character wangsting about this and that, or warping several—no, wait—all of the canon characters horribly out of character. Thrill as this Sue bowls over EVERY SINGLE “HOT” MALE IN THE LOTR UNIVERSE. Meaning she’s a ho. Grimace as Aragorn puts his grubby paws all over the Sue at the most inopportune moments he can find. Laugh as Mervin and Mrs. Hyde become violently enraged when this slut tries to get in the pants of the Brothers Gondor. And gag at all the horrible phallic imagery in this story. Golden bow, indeed!

Table of Contents

Chapter 1 – Of Elves and Rivendell
Chapter 2 – Caradien’s Adventure
Chapter 3 – Caradien in Gondor
Chapter 4 – The Council
Chapter 5 – A Meeting in the Garden
Chapter 6 – A Voice in the Night
Chapter 7 – Moria
Chapter 8 – The Wood Elves
Chapter 9 – Aragorn Tells His Feelings
Chapter 10 – The Death of Boromir
Chapter 11 – Finding Merry and Pippin
Chapter 12 – King Theoden Returns
Chapter 13 – Aragorn Falls
Chapter 14 – Into Helm’s Deep
Chapter 15 – A Meeting with Eowyn
Chapter 16 – The Battle Begins
Chapter 17 – Finding Merry and Pippin
Chapter 18 – The Steward of Gondor
Chapter 19 – You Wish that I had Died
Chapter 20 – A Threat to Denethor
Chapter 21 – Saving Faramir
Chapter 22 – To the Black Gates
Chapter 23 – The Final Battle
Chapter 24 – The Conclusion

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